Water and A Flame
by Moment For Life
Summary: Post war and Rose Dawson is in love with Bobby Calvert. What will happen when the Annual Fair comes to New York City and Jack Dawson steps back into her life? Complete.
1. Chapter 1 - A Fortune Teller

**One - Is Everything Meant To Change?**

It was the annual state fair in New York City. It was Spring, almost Summer and the trees were topped with buds ready to flower in the coming season.

It was on a day like today that twenty-six-year-old Bobby Calvert wanted to marry his bride-to-be. She was twenty-four and they were both old enough to know what they wanted. Her name was Rose Dawson. She clung to his arm as they strolled toward the fair. Seven years she had lived in New York City and in that time it has grown to be her home.

Bobby grasped her hand, he was shy but he was protective of her. He had loved her spirit, her platinum blonde curls and her curves drove him wild and with that she had sworn she had fallen in love with him. He had proposed to her two years previous at a time she did not want to allow any man into-her life. She had built a career as a stage actress and that had remained her focus until the war had taken its toll. They had written to each other and on his return they had shared their first kiss. That Christmas he had proposed to her. Five months later they were happy.

This would be the first annual fair post war and the morale was high. A Ferris wheel was the first thing which caught their eyes, it was larger than the year before. It was 180 feet high with 30 cars. Three belly dancers stood on either side of the entrance and introduced New York City to Egypt. Mechanical ducks were on one stall with guns and a prize for the best shot. There was a 'Miss New York' contest with sixteen ladies lined up waiting to apply. A dance hall was situated straight ahead of them and then the new additions; a portrait booth and then a fortune teller. Rose let go of Bobby's arm.

The sights were tremendous. The Egyptian theme, tambourines tapped against thighs, 'lucky coins' tossed into the air and people squabbling to catch them. You wouldn't have guessed that months before the world was at war. This was the beginning of A new chapter for all involved. When the first hints of Spring had come, the fog had lifted leaving refreshing crisp mornings. The buds had formed, the sense of new life and the occasional bleat of a new born lamb in the fields. This felt like home.

Rose wore brown pants and a white shirt tucked in. It hid her figure; her curves were buried beneath. Her hair was plaited to the left so casually and yet beautifully. A few strands came loose and lightly moved with the breeze. She didn't wear a coat and her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows. A very pale pink nail varnish ensured her nails looked well-groomed and manicured. She wore very little make up preferring her skin to feel natural compared to when she was on stage with heavy rouge and wigs.

She grasped Bobby's hand, he led her first to the Ferris wheel. The view over the tents and beyond was lovely. Rose had never felt closer to the sky. It was right at the top that Bobby took her face in his hands. She was radiant and so beautiful beyond words. He had found an angel and he planned to cling to her for the rest of his life. Their stomachs churned with the motion of the wheel. They were oblivious to anybody else. By the time they had finished their legs were jelly and their cheeks were flushed.

The jingle of bells attracted Rose to a large tent. It was ratty and brown in colour almost like a large sack. Inside it was dark. The sign above read FORTUNE TELLER.

''You don't believe in that nonsense do you?''

Bobby led Rose towards the tent awkwardly.

''A full dollar for a fortune teller?!''

Rose dug out into her purse and pulled out a dollar note.

''Hey Buster, I work hard for my money.'' She smirked. ''It's only a bit of fun.''

The overwhelming scent of roses hit her seemingly pulling her into the tent. She ducked down as she entered and was welcomed by a young woman.

''I'll see the man first.'' 'A strong female voice came. ''He looks terrified.''

Bobby strolled in front of Rose and when his eyes adjusted to the darkness a tanned raven haired beauty was seated at an unsteady wooden table. It was covered in a moth eaten cloth and various cards sat on the table. She wore a purple ribbon in her hair which was tied in a large bow and then the stray ends mingled into her hair. The dark mauve matched her skirt. Her arms rattled as charms dangled from her wrists, large moon shaped earrings were in her pierced ears.

''Come sit.'' She told him indicating to the chair opposite. ''Your lady can wait outside.''

Rose was stunned by the gypsy's beauty. She was like something from the fashion pages. She did as was instructed and left the tent.

''I'll be out in a moment, honey.'' He called after her.

''Hands on the table young man.''

Bobby placed them on the table and his eyes met the fortune tellers. they were pure green, almost hypnotic. He noticed a name on one of her many necklaces; Aishe. It meant alive.

Her eyes seemed to glaze over as she studied his hands.

''You've been to war,'' she told him. ''You were fortunate but your heart laid elsewhere.''

Bobby listened to her intently. ''Turn your hands over.''

He did so. ''You were not hurt physically but mentally. Your lady did not return your love fully. That was deeper than any gunshot wound.''

Bobby blinked. This was true. It wasn't until after he returned that Rose had agreed to be his wife.

She shuffled her deck of cards before handing them to Bobby with her right hand.

''With your right hand only pick four cards from this deck which appeal to you the most and lay them face down left to right.''

He did so and Aishe took a deep and cleansing breath. He watched as she closed her eyes and tipped her nose upward before whispering something under her breathe. She then turned over the cards one by one which he had picked.

''Flowers, pig, anchor and a heart.'' She ran her hand over the four of them. ''Very good.''

She glanced to Bobby. He didn't question anything. He watched as she picked them up one by one. ''The flowers represent happiness, aid and surprises. With the pig it brings success and fortune. I sense this is in your personal life as the anchor is success in business or employment.''

She grasped the final card.

''Aha a heart.''

She smirked placing the card to her chest.

''An early and happy marriage. You have a romantic life; your lady is in your heart. This is also a symbol of bad feelings.'' She threw the card on the table. ''But believe me that is not for you.''

Bobby realized he was holding his breathe. He removed his hands from the table. It was as though he had momentarily been possessed and he felt his destiny lay in the arms of this strange woman.

''Well,'' He stood from the chair. ''Thank you.''

He placed a dollar on the table and she took it from him. She put it in an elephant shaped money box as the coin hit the bottom it rattled signifying the box was full.

''Fetch your lady in.'' She licked her lips and crossed her legs beneath the table. ''This girl I want to see.'' She muttered to herself.

Rose stood outside the tent watching passersby. Children dragging their parents to the wheel, men winning small teddy bears on the shooting range. Bobby peered behind her, he snaked his right arm around her waist and he kissed her cheek.

''My destiny has been unraveled.'' He grinned.

She couldn't help but smile. ''I do hope it's a good one.''

''Of course.'' He let go of her. ''She asked for you.''

Rose touched Bobby's hand and their fingers brushed together as she left him outside. As she entered the tent, she had a strong feeling of something but she couldn't fully explain what.

''Sit down.'' Rose did as she was told. ''Place your hands flat on the table.''

Her eyes travelled to the ring on her fourth finger. It was petite and pretty.

''Ah I see the source of much pain.''

Her eyes met Aishe's. She narrowed her eyes and glanced at her own engagement ring.

''Turn your hands over nice and slow.''

Aishe concentrated on them. They were so delicate.

''I see turbulance. you made a difficult decision and another will be made soon. I see red. that is all I see. A rich deep red.''

Rose felt her breathing slow down. Aishe shuffled the cards again. Holding them out with her right hand.

''Right hand only. Choose four cards which you are drawn to and lay them face down.''

She shakily took four from the pack.

''The rider, lilies, the flames and lightening.''

''What does that mean?''

Rose's hands still sat on the table.

''The rider brings new chances for you but you need to act quickly. There is always chance for improvements and movements in your life with this card. The lilies bring happiness and peace over time. But there is also caution in actions. If prudence is not exercised you could find yourself isolated or alone.''

She took a long pause as she closed her hands over Rose's.

''The flames is a good card it shows warmth and happiness. It can burn away negatives and I sense this card is closest to you for someone who was once close to you. They knew of this fire within you.''

Tears came to Rose's eyes. _Jack._

''Lightening.'' She continued. ''A surprising turn of events is shown. It will shock you, take you by surprise and the fire inside will be alight once more.''

She let go of her hands. They were once cold but now her body was red hot.

''The red I saw wasn't a flame. It was a rose in full bloom but at the moment I feel it may have withered.'' She smirked, shrugging. ''But Spring is upon us.''

Rose wanted to press more but she physically could not find the words. She stood from the seat with a heavy stomach feeling. She stepped out of the tent. Her eyes struggled to adjust to the light. She felt heavy and her good mood had dampened.

''Well what did she say?'' Bobby beamed.

Aishe came to the tent opening. Her eyes were brighter in the daylight. She wore a white shirt cropped at the stomach, showing a smooth tanned flat middle.

''We don't share our destiny with each other. We enjoy it ourselves.''

Rose's lips were dry as she wordlessly watched Aishe raise her eyebrows. There was something mystical about her but she couldn't place it.

''Come darling.''

Bobby took hold of her hand. Rose couldn't help but maintain eye contact with her as she was led away.

''Crazy intense woman.''

Rose laughed. Her mood lifted. ''$2 wasted.'' She tutted at herself.

''How about the portrait booth?''

He led her towards the small tent. ''We need something a little less depressing.''

Inside different portraits hung, some were distorted and some were pretty good. The sign read $1 per picture. Inside it was one man and his art and a bench to sit on. There was a few admirers and Rose squinted her eyes to see the pictures but they were charcoal and so far away. Her head was a hazed blur of the gypsy's words, squealing children and Bobby's smiling face and then she was ushered forward.

''Do you want to take a seat?''

Her feet rooted to the spot. Bobby pulled her but felt he wasn't strong enough. The only thing she was aware of was him.

Jack Dawson.

Twenty-seven years old.

She grabbed Bobby for support but her eyes never left his. He held a piece of charcoal in his left hand and wore a grey shirt and jean style trousers. he had not moved himself.

He had died seven years ago.

 _There will be turbulence..._

The words echoed through her mind. It would start **now…**


	2. Chapter 2 - Two Loves

**Thank you for the reviews. I have written most of this and I have to say I feel rather excited about it.**

 **Two**

The air had been mercifully ripped from her lungs. She had managed to move her feet forward to stand just two feet away from the man she believed dead for so long. Time stood still, nothing moved. She had the overwhelming urge to touch him, to ensure she wasn't dreaming.

''I'm Bobby Calvert.'' He held out his hand to the artist. ''This is my fiancée Rose.''

Jack shook Bobby's hand. One man to another. Rose still couldn't speak. Robotically she held out her left hand, her engagement ring before his eyes and then came the cold stab of jealousy. She took a deep breath, the urge to break down was killing her. She studied his face as though needing to find some clue to the fact it wasn't _him._ That she was dreaming.

''Hello Rose.'' He smiled not realizing her hand. ''I'm Jack, Jack Dawson.''

He spoke directly to her as though confirming who he was. It was a moment between them, a private one unknown to anyone else around them.

''Take a seat.'' He pointed to the small thin wooden bench.

She moved to the bench. Bobby sat so close to her. Their hands were joined on her lap as though they were one, a uniting front and a young couple in love. Something Jack saw most days but never had he felt such a cold stab. Rose gazed straight ahead to Jack. He hadn't changed much at all.

''All I ask is for you to stay still and keep your eyes on me.''

Rose hadn't taken her eyes away from him. She placed her purse next to the bench.

She didn't smile. She physically couldn't. He began his work. She could hear the scratches against the paper, the familiar sound and she was taken back seven years to when she was just seventeen and laid naked before a man she had fallen in love with and then spent the next seven years trying to forget.

She had become an actress for him, to lose who she was and to bury herself in characters who were broken and alone. She was tremendous at what she did, using all of her own pain and grief on stage teeming from every pore and then she had met her Bobby.

He was perfect and he loved her so much. It wasn't until she had nearly lost him that she had allowed him in and now she was back to the start.

His face was the same, he hadn't aged at all. He had stubble, his skin tanned from working in the sun. She knew that he wouldn't have changed at all. She had felt the roughness of his hand when he had shaken hers. She wondered what he was thinking. He worked how he did before, so focused and she needed to know if his great focus was because of her presence or love of his job. A burning feeling ran down her throat into her stomach and there was an ache in the pit of her stomach. She hadn't looked at Bobby, oblivious to everything. He was so happy and she had been too. Now like a strike of lightening, everything was so hazy.

Jack had caught her eye a few times and he lingered. She tried too hard to steady her breathing. It was as though at any moment she would wake up and yet she didn't.

She noticed he smudged bits and seconds later he stood handing the paper to Bobby. Rose diverted her eyes to the left where she found other sketches caught her eye. She didn't look at the drawing.

Bobby stepped up quickly.

''Isn't it a masterpiece?'' Bobby beamed. He was very impressed.

Jack watched Rose. ''I'm glad you like it.''

''I'm going to look at the other pieces.'' She spoke low.

She heard Bobby talk about preferring the 'old fashioned way' of drawing and then she drowned him out with the sound of her own voice in her head. She found her way to a collection of drawings titled 'Around the World.'

She scanned them. Lady Liberty, New York City, 1912 as seen from the harbor. Big Ben, London, 1915. Eifel Tower, France, 1917. A ship in the harbor, Santa Monica, 1912.

''He went back.'' She whispered to herself. Jack had returned to ''their place.'' She wanted to turn to him, to steal a glance but daren't.

She turned to see more. A lonely horse in the surf, Santa Monica Beach, 1912. Santa Monica rollercoaster, May 1912. A young couple drinking beer, Santa Monica Pier, 1912. She narrowed her eyes to see the familiar JD scrawl. He had gone to the place where she had been too frightened to go yet if she had perhaps she would have found him.

 _Oh what if?_

She swallowed the lump in her throat and hugged her own body.

''You have a talent, Mr. Dawson.'' She said with a bittersweet sigh.

He smiled a genuine smile. ''Thank you...Rose.'' He hesitated the use of her name. The last time he had said it, she had told him she loved him.

It was silent for a few seconds. ''I see you have pictures from Santa Monica.''

She saw his face change; she was sure she sensed his pain. ''Yes, well, it meant a lot to me and an old friend.'' He paused. ''A friend I haven't seen in a very long time.''

She smiled weakly. ''I never went, Jack.'' She then realized she had cut all formalities and had spoken directly to him for the first time. In that moment he wanted to take her into his arms. Her ring was a reminder she belonged to another man and yet he knew she was still hiding some pain.

 _His_ Rose was _here._

''I'm not one for beaches or the coast.'' Bobby interrupted them. ''Rose is very much into art and I don't know a Monet to a Van Gough.''

''Well I'm here every day until Thursday if you want to stop by.'' He held out his hand to Rose and she shook it, she could feel the tension. ''Either of you.'' He shook Bobby's hand.

The two men together, the loves of her life was almost too much for her to take. She had fallen for Bobby and yet when Jack was here he paled in comparison. Oh Lord…she felt weak.

''Honey, let's get a drunk I'm thirsty.''

Rose started for the exit. She needed to get out, the walls were coming in towards her and she was suffocation.

''Good to meet you.'' She found herself lingering just a little too long in the entrance before she left quickly. As soon as the air hit her she felt as though she had been underwater for years and only just could breathe again.

''Oh.'' She felt her stomach crunch, her legs turned to jelly and her heart soared. She turned to Bobby as he emerged from the tent.

''You ready for that drink?'' His eyes twinkled.

''Yes!'' She said certainly. She had never been more ready. What was the sudden urge to run back inside and question him. To run back to Jack Dawson.

She reached to her shoulder to find her bag gone.

''Oh shoot! I left my bag in the portrait tent. I put it next to the bench.''

Bobby touched her shoulder. ''Don't worry I will get it.''

She nodded. She was grateful he offered seeing Jack again would be torture. Jack was examining his pictures from Santa Monica when he saw Bobby.

''Hey sorry, Rose left her bag in here.''

'Sure.'' He found it beside the bench. It was brown and whicker. He handed it to Bobby.

''Thanks man.''

''No problem. Good thing Rose left it here, not everybody is so honest.''

''That is true.'' He stopped for a moment. ''Say perhaps you and Rose are related?''

Jack felt his stomach sink. He sensed something was about to be said which would change the course of his day.

''Her surname is Dawson. Rose Dawson.''

He was floored. He had to sit on the bench to steady himself. Momentarily, he thought to speak. ''No sir, I am the last of my line.''

Bobby smiled politely. ''Perhaps a common name. Thank you for this.''


	3. Chapter 3 - Lost In Another World

**Three; Lost in another world**

''You've never looked more miserable.''

Aishe patted her table inside the pub. Jack had struck up a friendship with her right away. She was of Egyptian decent but spoke with a slight European accent. She had been travelling through town with her grandmother. She had never seen New York before and a month later she was still here. She had sensed this lonely young man's misery. Perhaps it was his vulnerability beneath the surface. The way he saw the world was a way to be admired, she had never seen such a person. Underneath this exterior she knew there was a man who was possibly more fragile than he outwardly projected. Frequently she offered to read his cards but he refused but one day she would have to, deeply intrigued by this young American man.

They were in Tony's bar. He was an Irish immigrant who drank almost his entire stock of liquor but a man Jack bonded well with. They had spent many nights drinking and playing poker together. Their friendship was one which was deeply rooted over a mutual love of liquor and card games.

''Damned rough day, Aishe.'' He threw his portfolio on the table. His head spinning. He headed for the bar. ''Where's Tony?''

Aishe raised her arched eyebrow. ''If you listen close you will hear the girl Tony met at the fairs orgasm.''

As if on que, a passionate cry came from the back room. Jack winced before jumping over the unmanned bar in one effortless swoop. ''In that case, the drinks are on him.''

He rummaged beneath the bar, it was stinky and he found a half drunk bottle of whiskey. He picked it up and jumped back over the bar.

''The hard stuff?'' Aishe tutted. ''Do tell.''

He unscrewed the lid with his teeth and spat it onto the table. She watched as she cradled her wine in her hands. Something was killing him more today more than before. The liquor slipped down so easily, it blotted out the pain and the niggling feeling to chase every corner of New York until he found the one person he had missed most in the world. His body ached as though he had been out in the cold all night and it was relatively warm. Aishe reached out her hand to him.

''I would read your cards…'' She teased, knowing his reaction.

He eyed her through his blurred vision. ''You know I think its horse shit.''

She raised her eyebrow. She drank her wine in one gulp. ''So is sitting here and not speaking to your friend. Do not be afraid to open your heart.''

He said nothing as he sat back on the wooden chair and knocked back more liquor than he cared to but it slipped down to beautifully. He had envisioned Rose in his mind ever since she had walked from the tent. She had been quiet, almost a stranger. She was engaged…to another man. One who seemed to treat her. He winced, jealousy stabbing at his stomach and then rising as bile in his throat. Aishe grabbed both of his hands roughly once she had ripped the bottle from his right hand and placed it on the table. She grasped his hands and placed them out flat.

''Ouch.''

She had scratched him with her nails accidently.

She shushed him as she glanced from his hands to his eyes. His face fell serious, his hair falling into his eyes as he cocking his head to one side. What was it about those light blue eyes which seemed to hold many secrets? Ones she wished to know.

Her eyes closed slowly as she touched his palms, feeling the coolness of them against the roughness. A combination which even made her shiver. She could see something, perhaps even loneliness.

''Hmm, you are not yet mended. You thought you were but that is not so.'' She began, keeping her eyes closed. ''I see a wound. It bleeds still, it is not yet a scar. Perhaps it never will heal enough to turn into a scar.'' She turned his hands over tracing her index fingernail down his palm. It tickled and for some reason it awakened something within him.

''A woman. A force of nature will knock the wind from your sails.'' She closed her eyes as though she struggled with something. ''I see red, the colour red but its dull as though it is not yet ripened.''

Jack snatched his hands from under hers. He had had enough. Aishe opened her eyes, they sparkled in the dim light.

''I'm right?'' She smiled.

He grabbed his bottle and drank again. He needed a release. She was alive and she was engaged. She was happy. He couldn't have her and yet part of him wanted to find her house and tell her to leave him. He was restless. This was a feeling he hadn't had in so long. What else was he to do? She was so beautiful, he ached to touch her so badly and yet he knew he mustn't. She was forbidden to him again. He picked up his portfolio and yanked it open.

He faced something he had seen most regular. A blank page. Only an artist would know how frustrating it was to sit and look at a blank page. Inspiration should come at the tip of their fingers and within moments the page would begin to grow less filled with empty spaces.

But this was a big white sheet which was empty. He was useless, perhaps even past his own talent; the one which had earned him money all of his adult life. It felt murdered, almost as though all passion had leaked from his fingertips when she had left his life. He had lived in black and white ever since.

A huge sigh did nothing to help and neither did a pathetic attempt at creating something. As he sat with a piece of charcoal in his quivering hand he glanced over the deformed object. What was it? The lines looked odd and the paper was wasted. Jack Dawson knew these feelings well. Perhaps a cigarette would help. He placed his head in his hands for a moment, he almost slapped himself in order to take some frustration out.

But something else overcame him.

''Damnit!'' He stood from the table kicking the chair back. It caused the wooden floor to tremble. His face was red; his anger shining through as his portfolio fell to the floor. Paper flying out in a line across the wooden floor. He didn't even care if he never saw them again. They hadn't meant half as what they used to. Aishe stood quickly and placed her hands on his face.

Her eyes pierced his. She had never seen his struggle with his anger so much. His fists were balled fists by his side and she gently slid her hands down his arms to his hands and released his fists.

''Jack, you need to stop.''

He squeezed his eyes closed. Then she was there in front of his face once more.

''I can't!'' He balled his fists once more and in a quick turn he punched the wall. The wood split two of his knuckles and the pain did nothing to hide what he was already feeling. His breathing was ragged.

Aishe grasped his shirt collar and forced him backwards right to the wall so that he landed against it with a thud. He was out of breath; he couldn't see anything else except red.

''Ease the pain.'' She traced her fingernail over his check down to his neck and the top of his back. He was drunk but this was easing the pain. ''Look into my eyes,'' she whispered.

Tony emerged from the back room, a young blond girl trampled drunkenly behind him. He did up his shirt.

''What is all the banging about?''

Aishe still held Jack to the wall. She refused to let go, not with him in this mood.

''Jack's had some issues.'' She raised her eyebrows. Tony shook his head coming around the side of the bar to the door. He paid no attention to the girl who had obviously been in his bed for hours on end. He opened the door for her. His tousled dark hair blew in the wind as he opened it.

''Bye Tony.'' She smirked as he slammed the door closed.

''Next woman tomorrow night.'' He turned to go back to his room. ''You cannot have the same woman more than once.'' He ran his finger through his hair, eyeing Jack cornered by a woman. He couldn't help but laugh.

''Jack, you need a woman.''

Tony slammed the door.

Aishe turned back to Jack. She loosened her grip on him.

''Forget the pain.''

It became silent. Her green eyes urging him to calm himself. Her stare was intense. His right hand fell to her hip and onto her bare skin. He hadn't touched a woman in a while. He brought his other hand to her face, without even thinking he grasped her to him and kissed her. Not in a way he had ever kissed a woman before, this was full and passionate. She was intoxicating in every way. The way she spoke to him, the way she had touched him had stirred things he hadn't felt in such a long time. He thought that side of him was dead and buried. He needed a release and this was his was to get it.

She was so attractive, the touch of a woman's skin after so long was heaven. Within seconds she was against the wall, her skirt hitched up and they were lost in each other.


	4. Chapter 4 - Facing up to the past

It had been such a good idea and for two days she had toyed with the situation and now here she was on a Wednesday three days after their initial meeting. The crowd was just as rowdy as the last time she had attended except this time it seemed to not even bother her. She was so tolerant of their shouts, the stare and the occasional bump. She wore a long lilac and floral dress and her hair was loose around her shoulders. Her purse was carried in front of her stomach, clutching it so tightly her knuckles were white. She took small but sure steps passed the fortune teller tent and toward the portrait booth. The people walked all different directions toward the entertainment. Those people who had come here to escape their daily life and she was here to face her own very delicate past.

She struggled through them as though she was fighting for something. Her own thoughts were floating around her head one by head and offered no peace and hadn't done for days. The thoughts were haunting and annoying. They ticked at her until she had finally plucked up enough courage to make a decision. She was afraid of her own emotions, of what was evoked when she had met eyes with the one person she never thought she would see again. Once she reached the tent where she knew Jack would be she knew she couldn't stop to think.

Her determination was what was driving her. She pulled back the draped opening and went inside. She found herself alone.

He wasn't there.

''Oh Lord.''

She mentally kicked herself for thinking this was a good idea. She turned on her heel and walked out. People crossed her path as she walked on towards the exit, she hurried as though she didn't want people to know of her existence there.

Aishe watched from behind the curtain of her tent. She heard the name being called. _Rose._ The woman stopped in her tracks just before she reached the exit. Rose was her name. Jack must have seen her through the crowds of people. She watched as they both came closer together in the mass of people. There was something hesitant about them both, something so new and yet so familiar at the same time. She narrowed her eyes as she tried to fathom just what it was but at the moment the feelings were so weak she could barely feel anything at all. But there was one thing she knew, Rose had come for him and he was waiting. Aishe smiled, a very knowing smile.

Jack was a foot or so away from Rose. He had called her through the crowds and somehow she had heard his cries.

''How are you?'' He asked, slowly. She glanced up at him.

''I'm well, I think. Are you?''

He blinked several times. How was he? He didn't know.

''Come with me.''

He grabbed her hand before she could even think and pulled her into his tent. Aishe watched them closely, still smiling before she retreated to the darkness of her own tent.

Rose allowed him to take her hand, it was so sudden that she could barely register. He pulled her toward the tent which she had just left and once she had stepped inside he came to her. This could be the only chance they have at any privacy.

She glanced at the bench, she couldn't sit. They were here together and alone. The last time she had seen him she had kissed his frozen hand in the middle of the North Atlantic, she had thought he was dead. She had promised she would never let go. The lump was rising in her throat and she tried her best to swallow it. She felt somewhat angry.

''You survived.'' She whispered.

''Yes.'' He took a deep breath. ''I thought you had died. I had not rested for years.'' He ran his fingers through his hair. He was not prepared for any of this, the last few days he had constantly drowned out any reminders of her which he had left and buried himself in both work and another woman. ''I went to Philadelphia thinking you must have returned home. I went to Santa Monica! I looked for you!''

He too was angry but at what?

She could feel herself shaking. Her entire body visibly trembled.

''I became Rose Dawson.'' The lump would not move from her throat, she thought she would choke. Tears came to her eyes. She allowed herself to trace her eyes over his face. _He really was here._

He had spent all of those years looking and she had spent the same time trying to move on, to hide the pain and to become someone else. She shook her head, the thoughts making her nauseous. There was so many what ifs and the truth was she was in love with Bobby.

''I changed my name to Rose Dawson. I have left New York since I stepped off that ship.''

Jack took a seat on the bench. She had been in the place which he had spent so many nights roaming to find her, crying on park benches and starving himself to just feel another pain except the loss of his Rose. The only time he felt another emotion was when America had joined in the war.

''I went to war.'' His voice was quiet, clasping his hands together.

She shook her head. ''So did Bobby. He wrote me and I also saw the papers.''

''I didn't write to nobody. I had never felt as alone.''

He stood from the bench. Her eyes were brimmed with unshed tears.

''I thought you were dead.'' He echoed the word which she had spoken. It was only now he realised just how wrong he had been. His words seemed to echo around in her mind, rattling her inner thoughts and making its way to her stomach.

At that moment a man entered the booth. His giddy voice surprising them both. The tension was there and yet as soon as a chatty young girl who accompanied the man giggled, it was gone. Rose squeezed her eyes closed. The child's voice rang in her ears. The man was oblivious to the situation, instead he took his girl to look at the drawings and for a moment Jack was glad she had not witnessed Rose's tears. He sighed, they never would have a chance to speak.

Rose's head spun, she took one last look at Jack before turning to leave and he couldn't even stop her. She walked quickly as she could, without making a scene. Just a few days before she had come with her Bobby to this place, to laugh and to indulge themselves after the hard year or so but now this place had brought back so many deep wounds. She struggled with her emotions and as a tear slid under her eyelashes she wiped it. She felt a hand on her shoulder, she stopped and turned.

 _Jack._

''Please come see me tonight, here, please.'' His eyes pleaded. ''Today is my final day here.''

Her stomach sank. ''Jack, I can't I have to work tonight.''

''What time do you finish?''

She scanned his face and saw the desperation in his eyes. She was so close to him and all of the other people faded away. He still had that impact on her. That is what hurt the most, the fact they had been so close and now they had to pretend to be near strangers.

''High house theatre. I start at seven.'' She turned to walk away but this time he grasped her hand to pull her back to him.

''Theatre?''

''I'm an actress.''

He loosened his grip on her. The realization hitting him with such force. She had kept her promise. She had become an actress, moved on with her life and met a man worthy of her hand and now here she was before him; a grown woman. He saw clearly and it was in the present but she trembled around him. There was so much to be said.

''I'll be there.''

He told her before hesitantly turning and jogging back to the tent where he would spend the next few hours concentrating on working.

She stood stunned by her own actions. Was she playing with fire? Her body ached to speak to him, to gather information and get the answers she so badly needed. She could barely put one foot in front of the other. Inside she felt giddy knowing that she would see him again and yet so nervous to be in his presence. She was engaged to be married and Bobby hadn't even known she had come out here today. He had believed her to be in rehearsals all day. She had lied to her own love. She sighed feeling both disgust and desperation. She needed a lie down and perhaps some coffee. He exhausted her, perhaps it was the intensity of the past few days.

She took a deep breath and turned to leave but as she did she was face to face with the same green eyes which had looked into her soul days before. _The gypsy._

She saw those ruby red lips say something. ''The turbulence starts now…''

Those words which had stayed with her for days and those words she uttered once more before her. Rose felt her lungs seemingly crush.

Seconds later she was gone.


	5. Chapter 5 - Back To The Past

Back to the Past

Jack clapped as hard as he could as he sat in the audience. Her smiling face was enough to light up the entire House. There had been a good turn out tonight, and the cheers were loud. His attention had been on Rose the entire way through the play; she was enormously talented and had recited all of her lines perfectly. He had to think that seeing her again was some sort of sign from above. The way she spoke her lines was poetic and flowed, he had no idea she had this talent. She played a dancer, wearing heavy makeup and a wig but that didn't stop him from admiring her beauty.

As soon as the play was finished. The audience stood, some filtered out slowly whilst some came to the front of the stage to give flowers, well wishes and some even asked for autographs. Several actresses had noticed him and he had noticed their eyes on him. He stood in his crisp white shirt and black jean style pants. It was the most he had dressed up in a long while.

Rose had just come off stage. He pushed through several lines to get to the front to greet her but he was stopped by Clara, a hip girl Rose lives with.

''Hey handsome.'' She unashamedly flirted with him. She placed a long hand on his chest. ''How'd you fancy a drink?''

He found Rose through the crowd as most of them began to leave. Jack removed her hand from his chest and smiled. ''No thank you.''

Clara's mouth formed into an 'o' of utter shock. He politely moved past her as Rose was pushed into a crowd. A man grabbed her arm in an attempt to pull her towards him. She was swamped. She reached out her hand towards Jack and in seconds she felt his fingertips grasp her so tightly and pulled her to him so she was right under his nose.

''Do you want to get out of here?'

He leant forward to speak to her. With his hand still grasping hers she led him out of the crowd to a small door with a 'staff only' sign. It led into a dark corridor into the back down a winding stair case and out of a large wooden door into the night air.

As soon as the air reached her lungs she moaned aloud with freedom.

''Boy, you sure can bring in a crowd.'' He smirked as they walked out the back of the theatre.

''it's the play. The other actors are wonderful, as is the script. I feel at home on that stage.''

''You have such a talent. You always said you wanted to be an actress.''

It was the first time either of them had mentioned the past, their time together and it almost hurt Rose to think about a time which she had shut herself off from a long time ago.

The streets were dimly lit and the odd passerby nodded 'good evening.'

''I had to become something to express myself. It took me four days to find a theater to hire me and I never left.''

Jack watched her walk. Her figure was slimmer and she was taller than he recalled.

''Where do you live?''

''I share a house with two other actresses. They come and go but Clara and I have lived there for six years.'' Rose smiled, the house had been horrendous when they had moved in but somehow they had made it their home. ''At one time there was eight of us up all night rehearsing.''

Jack loved to see how alive she became talking about her work. ''I bet the neighbors were happy!''

''We didn't care. The wine took over.'' She laughed hard, ''and then the war came.''

Her face fell serious. She stopped walking for a moment and leant against a streetlight. She glanced up to Jack. ''I went from playing to a packed out house to an audience full of widows, women with no idea if their husbands would return and children with no idea just how cruel the world was.'' Her eyes glazed over. ''We were told we couldn't go on, we couldn't afford to but I wanted to be there for these people, to be their release for two or three hours each night and we continued right the way until the war ended.''

Jack parted his lips for a moment to breathe. Rose had become a modern woman in her own right.

''I had to go on for myself and for them and so we all did. The war forgotten for those nights we played and then we would pray for them.''

He fought the urge to touch her luminous skin under the street lamp. ''You're a wonderful woman, Rose.''

Her back straightened. She had expected him to say such a thing. ''Any woman would be as kind.'' She began to walk once more. ''How was it out there?'' She looked at her feet, their steps were in sync. ''Bobby doesn't talk much. I fear he bottled most of it.''

Jack thrust his hands into his pocket. His stomach sank at the mention of her fiancé and yet he could offer no reason for it. He was a good man, or so it seemed.

''There's not much to tell.''

He sighed, he tried to remember.

''I lay in the trenches, sand bags lined the sides and on the lip there was barbed wire.'' He began. ''The enemies were about fifty feet away. Some Germans would come and play card games, talk of their families in broken English and these were fine men and yet they were made to hate us.'' They turned a corner onto a dark unknown street. Rose felt safe with him and her eyes never left his face. ''We were in mud up to our knees so we couldn't move. There was no sanitation and rats, well they made a home with us.'' He had to laugh. ''There was no relief for weeks, a near miss from an artillery shell could collapse a trench or cause a dugout to cave in. That one night it buried the men alive.''

''You were on the front line?'' Her voice cracked. Jack simply nodded once.

''Death was near. The fear, the sight and the smell. I saw shattered bodies, men driven insane by the shelling and men shook.'' He removed his hands from his pockets and demonstrated violently shaking his own hands. ''People around me then slept and some ate, they sang and said prayers and others they just cried.''

''Oh Jack.''

''These men were young, most with wives and families and children. But me, I had none of that and every time I saw another man shot dead I prayed to be the next, to spare the next one to take him home to see his daughter grow up and marry but God never took me.''

Rose found herself stopping him. Tears lined her eyes. '' You're a good man, you deserved to live.''

He shook his head. ''No Rose. I had nothing. Just a memory which haunted me every godamned hour.''

He rubbed his face. He hadn't opened up his own thoughts and fears in a long time. He hesitantly took a step closer to her seeing her tears.

''Not a day went by when I didn't think of you.'' He lowered his voice, it was almost a whisper. ''I don't know how I am still alive today. You were the reason I stayed thinking so sharply. I kept thinking of our time together and that numbed the pain.''

He reached forward and allowed himself to touch her face. He knew he shouldn't but he had wanted to do it for so long, it almost caused him to break down with her. She closed her eyes and he saw another tear escape and he wiped it ever so gently.

''Since then whiskey numbs the pain,'' he sighed. ''Tonight is my second sober night since the war.''

He took in the length of her, the clothes and her face, her noticeably quivering body. Everything which he had missed to the point it was just a wound which bled every day and since that day he had been cut open he had prayed for the wound to bleed out. It never did.

She stood in front of him. Rose Dawson.

Silence fell over them and they did nothing but watch each other in such a daze this felt like a dream.

''Jack,'' she wanted to say something but honestly words failed her.

''Where were you?'' His voice was soft and gently. She could sense his heartache and she felt it too.

''I was here. I never left.''

She felt the tears come to her, the memory of his body frozen to hers which she had suppressed for so long.

''I kicked for the surface. I woke up on the Carpathia and by some fuckin' miracle I am here.'' He snapped. ''I looked for you everywhere and now I find out that you changed your name.''

She broke eye contact with him. The hurt between them was incredible. For seven years there had been so much darkness but now there was some light. This was dangerous territory. Their wounds had never fully healed and now they had been ripped open once more.

'I lost Rose Dewitt Bukater, she died with the Titanic.'' She struggled with the words which she had never said aloud before. ''You gave me hope and I lived on for you. When the officer took my name 'Dawson' came out so naturally. I was carrying you with me.''

In that moment he felt fiercely proud of her. She had turned her life around. He recalled their first meeting and a small played on his lips, she couldn't help but notice.

''Whatever is amusing?'' She was surprised by the turn of the mood.

He sighed, shaking his head. ''Remember the night we met and how snobbish you were?''

She chewed the inside of her mouth, she took tried to not smile. ''Yes.''

''How you were going to throw yourself from the ship?''

She could vaguely remember the person she was before she met Jack.

''I walked talked out of it by a crazy young artist.'' She laughed glancing at the floor and then back to Jack. '' He saved me.''

She found the same eyes she had fallen into all those nights ago. They had stopped walked and were stood on the pavement opposite each other.

''Why we have we stopped?''

He cocked his head to the left side indicating something. ''Come on.''

She frowned. ''Where are we?'' It took a second to notice they were at the fair. It was after eleven and all was closed up except for one light.

''It's so peaceful at night without all those people.'' He led her through a large locked gate which he happened to have the key for. She glanced around. The Ferris wheel loomed spookily, it was silent almost like a lost ghost town.

''Are we allowed here?''

''I won't tell if you won't.'' She saw him grin in the dark, baring his white teeth and excitement lingered in her stomach.

''Do you trust me?''

His eyes glimmered in the dark and in that moment she was seventeen again. Trust, the one thing which Jack had taught her.

''Yes.''

He held out his hand and led her forward passed the gypsy tent and Jack's tent, they passed several closed stalls and the hotdog machine. His hand was rough but gently and it was just how she remembered. She followed him carefully in the dark in her heels.

''Here we are.'' He let go of her hand. They were at the wheel. She glanced upwards, the top cart looming over them.

''Do you know how to work it?''

Jack shrugged as he stepped onto the wooden platform and began to fiddle with some levers. Seconds later the wheel began to turn silently. Rose jumped as one passed her as it turned.

''Jack should we be doing this?''

He ignored her for a second. ''Are you afraid of heights?''

He held his hand out to her. ''No.''

In that second he reached up and grabbed the bar of a cart and pulled himself into a sitting position with Rose landing half onto his knee. She screamed, closing her eyes and laughing so hard her side hurt. What just happened? Jack pulled the bar back so they were safe. In one swoop he had pulled them both into the cart. In just a few seconds they were at the very highest point at the top.

''Jack I cannot believe you did that.''

She held her stomach still laughing and realized that she was still half on his lap. She shifted herself and suddenly the cart came to an abrupt stop right at the top.

''What happened?''

''Don't worry.'' He held up his left hand as a sign and sat back in the cart. Rose glanced 180 feet down. ''This is the best view up here.''

Her hair blew backwards and it took her breath away. She looked straight ahead and then it clicked what Jack had meant. New York City skyline was almost adjacent. There were thousands of lights and it seemed to meet the sky. She tipped her head all the way back to see the moon. She shakily reached up her left arm and then her right, stretching them far above her head. This is what freedom felt like. They were surrounded by so much beauty.

She glanced around to see Jack taking in the beauty also.

''Do you remember that shooting star?''

Jack gazed at the sky then back to Rose as she brought her arms over her chest. She noticed his arm was casually draped around her shoulders.

''Yes. Did you wish on it?''

Jack took a deep breath, he gazed back at the sky but Rose's eyes remained on him.

''I got what I wished for.''

They could both feeling something present, their eyes met but then looked away. The power was almost too much for both of them to stand.

''So did I.'

Something had shifted between them. It was stronger and drawing her to him. She felt so tight and breathless. He began to move closer to her and she couldn't move her eyes from his lips. She had to close her eyes, the moment was too much for her and then she felt him fumble with something. He had pushed the bar open.

''I'll get us down.'' Her racing heart calmed. In the moment she believed he would kiss her. She cursed herself for even allowing herself to be carried away in such a moment.

He scrambled out of the cart.

''What are you…''

He held onto the metal bar before allowing his body to dangle 180 feet.

''Jack, you'll be killed.'' She panicked. She wanted to scream.

''Don't worry. Shh. I am all right.''

It was so dark she couldn't see but watched him expertly scramble down the bar and reaching out for the lower one. Her heart beat quickened and then it dawned on her…how else would they get down? Jack had stopped the wheel turning himself to allow them to see the view.

''Oh Jack.'' She whispered to herself, placing her hand on her racing heart. She knew she was safe with him. Seconds later the wheel began to turn again. Her stomach sank as it travelled lower to the ground. Jack stepped to the left of the cart as it grew closer to him. He held out his hand to her as the ride came to a stop. She giggled as she took his hand and stepped from the cart carefully. He placed his hands around her waist and lifted her from the platform so she jumped almost into his arms.

''That is quite suave Mr. Dawson.'' She steadied herself on her feet whilst still holding on his arms. ''Is this where you take girls on dates?''

She could feel herself flush as she fixed her hair.

''No.'' He shook his head, ''I don't date.''

'What?''

He shook his head again as he guided her towards the building with a light on.

''Do you want a drink?''


	6. Chapter 6 - A Bleak World

The bar was completely empty. Tony had been out cold for hours. The area was dimly lit with an oil lamp. The décor was dark with unpolished wooden floors and slightly rickety chairs. It was English style with a side facing bar and around ten small round tables. It felt like something from a novel. Rose glanced around, a large log fire burnt next to the bar, large carpet laid out in front of it. Around the mantelpiece were old beer bottles mostly Irish or English stouts.

Jack went behind the bar, trying to not touch the wood it was sticky from spilled beer throughout the day.

''So this is where you call home?''

Rose slowly came to the bar her heels clicking on the wood. It was eerily quiet except the crackle of the fire.

''For the most part.''

She watched as he expertly poured himself a pint of Guinness before scraping the excess foam from the top.

''Another talent you have.'' She smirked.

''Must be the Irish in me.'' He grinned. ''What can I get for you m'lady?''

He took a sip of Guinness. It was refreshing. Whiskey had been his beverage of choice for many years. The numbness had become his friend.

''You're Irish?' She narrowed her eyes at him. She couldn't it.

''My father was. He was an Irish immigrant and he came over here in the 1880's as a boy. He met mother in Wisconsin and married her a week later.''

Wrinkles of surprised appeared on her forehead. One thing she didn't know about Jack and then she realized this was the fourth full day she had spent with him. Her knees locked and she placed her hands flat on the bar.

''Wine please, white.''

He grabbed a small wine glass and eyed up any smudges and then placed it flat on the bar.

''It sounds wonderful; your parents must have loved each other from the first meeting.''

Jack poured a white wine into the glass. He sighed slowly. ''They did. Or so Pops used to tell me. Ma always made fun but she loved him just as much.'' He had spoken of his parents in such a long time.

She took the wine and held it to her lips. Slowly she tasted it. It wasn't so bad and she welcomed it after the day's events.

She walked to the nearest table to the fire. It was small with two chairs and then heat could be felt something which she welcomed. Jack removed his jacket draping it over the chair to reveal tanned muscular arms in a flannel shirt top. She was distracted momentarily. He dragged out the chair and it scraped on the floor and Rose continued to sip her wine.

''So what about you?'' she asked quietly. The wine giving her a quiet confidence. ''You don't date?''

Jack sat back in his chair. He took in her appearance. How could he have this conversation with Rose?

''No I never could.''

''But it's been seven years.''

''I meant it when I said I never stopped looking.'' He leant forward and his eyes bore into hers. She was breathless as she bit her lip.

''You're attractive. I thought you would have married perhaps.''

He shook his head. ''I have been with five women. You were my second.'' He scratched his stubble. ''My first was a French girl I was so drunk I could barely remember only that Fabrizio said she resembled a goat.'' He laughed at the memory. ''The others were one night affairs, a tension release. I don't love those women and I feel empty with them. I just needed to feel a woman after so long.''

She felt herself blush. He was still so honest and the truth was they had been naked together, there had been an overwhelming passion and the fire he had ignited was beautiful.

''We had something didn't we?'' She whispered with a shy smile. She ignored the fact he had been naked with other women, jealousy was stabbing at her for no reason and she had no right to feel that.

Jack sighed taking a gulp of his pint. ''We were crazy kids running around a ship. I was crazy about you though.''

She felt her stomach flutter. The rest of her wine slipped down perfectly. Automatically he stood up, took her glass to the bar and emptied the bottle into it.

'You trying to get me drunk?''

''No I just think it's rare you let your hair down.''

Her smirk disappeared. She found the statement rude and was about to pull him up until she realized that it was true. After a few short hours he still knew so much about her from a simple observation. She took the glass from him, their fingers touching for the briefest second.

''What about you? You get all the boys calling you up on that stage and yet you choose to settle.''

She looked at her engagement ring and she felt her stomach sink. _Bobby._

''I met him before the war. He was asking me dancing all the time and I never let him. I only realized how great was by the time he had left to go to war.'' She squeezed her eyes closed. ''He proposed to me this Christmas gone.''

Why was it so hard to speak of Bobby to Jack? It was causing her so much heartache. ''There was no one else before him Jack.''

He shifted his body around on the chair. ''You're so lovely,'' He said softly. ''Men would have begged to date you.''

She shook her head violently. ''I never wanted them.'' She shakily touched her glass. ''I kissed another man three years ago at New Year. We worked on a play together and I felt like I lost myself.'' She moved her hair from her eyes. ''The truth is men play my lovers, I can kiss on stage, dance and feign a romance but my life is not that.'' She was silent for a moment. Jack shook his head in disbelief. Fiddling around in his jacket pocket he found his tobacco and began to roll himself a cigarette, his mind reeling. There was anger, confusion and a damned strong urge to touch her hand. She was stunning, that fact never changed.

''I blamed myself for your 'death'.''

''And I for yours.''

He narrowed his eyes. What was this life they had made for each other? Fate had kept them apart but then what had brought them back into each other's life? His half rolled cigarette was forgotten.

''Jack when I saw you I almost fainted.'' She confessed. ''And Bobby, he just…'' She placed her head in her hands. ''He doesn't know…''

Jack leant forward. They had a secret together. Inside, memories bubbled which he had kept locked away for seven years. The same question he had wanted to ask kept appearing.

''Are you happy?''

She sat up straight in her chair. With Jack what you see is what you get. He never did hide anything; his frankness should have surprised her. She was engaged to a wonderful man and becoming attached to Jack would be hell for them both.

''I was content.''

He watched as she struggled with something as though in that moment she was discovering her own feelings.

''You coming back into my life has caused such…'' She watched him. She was too lost to think. He walked to a dark wooden phonograph which Rose had failed to notice until now. Seconds later a haunting Irish flute filled the room and she shivered.

''We only have three songs. I prefer something up-tempo but Tony is a dancing kinda guy.'' He smirked. ''The truth is I haven't danced in seven years.'' He came closer to her. ''Will you dance with me?''

His eyes never left hers as she stood from the chair. She placed her arms around his neck loosely. She knew the gesture was intimate. He was hesitant for a few seconds but then placed his arms around her waist, smelling her perfume and the scent of her hair, it brought back memories from times they had been a lot closer. After a few minutes, Rose pulled away leaving her arms around his neck and interlinking her fingers behind his neck playing with a few strands of his hair softly. Immediately Jack closed his eyes feeling the tickling of her fingers on his neck, he tightened his grip on her waist and pulled her closer. They scanned each other's faces wordlessly neither knowing what to say or do, but all that mattered was the other was there in front of them.

''Did you ever settle in one place?''

''Yes Santa Monica for six months. I tried to feel closer to you but there I felt most empty.'' He smiled softly. ''The wanderer in me returned. I felt as though I was never meant to stop travelling the world living on God's good will.'' He spoke honestly. ''That was the life I wanted for us. To see the world together and then I wanted to take you home.''

Why did she ache for him? To turn back the hands of time to relive that with him? She removed the thought from her head, she couldn't torture herself with this now.

''What now?''

He shrugged. Their dance had become almost a sway as they held each other.

''I leave town with the fair tomorrow.''

Hearing the words felt like another stab to her heart. ''Then you just leave?''

She pulled herself away from Jack to feel the tears come. She knocked the remainder of her drink. She felt herself become angry but she didn't know why.

''That was my plan.'' He ran his hands through his hair. ''What else can I do?''

She turned to him her eyes wide. ''Will you ever stop running?''

He watched her. She shook. God why was this so damned hard?

''I'm not running. I am going with my life. What can I do? Stay in New York, stand by and watch you marry another man knowing full well that I could never have you?''

The wind was knocked from her chest. Her mind filled with a thousand thoughts.

''Bobby makes you happy. I care about you enough to not stand in the way of that.''

A single tear fell down her cheek and he stepped forward for a moment and wiped it. She closed her eyes relishing feeling him so close. His heart was torn. Why was this happening now?

''There's so much left to stay to each other Jack. I don't want you to walk out of my life again.''

Jack gazed at her. She wrung her hands and seemed to vulnerable. He came closer to her for a second and she smiled as he grabbed her hands and held them in his own.

''Oh Rose.''

A few tears ran down her cheeks and he slowly leant forward to kiss them away. He could taste how salty they were, he left her trembling. It was such a small gesture which left her so weak.

''I'm sorry.'' She sobbed.

''For what?''

She glanced downwards feeling foolish. Her head felt a mess, she couldn't concentrate on anything except for Jack. He placed his index finger on her chin and lifted her face to his.

''You belong to another man. One who loves you and I know you love him.'' He smiled weakly. '' We found each other again and I am satisfied you're going to be all right.'' He closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. ''If things were different I would have married you, travelled with you and loved you.''

Her heart broke in two. It would kill her to walk away.

She felt a presence by the door. Aishe emerged from the shadows wearing a black full length dress, she smiled knowingly, her lips painted very dark blood red.

''Hmm, I was wondering when I would meet Jack's love.'' She said calmly.

Jack rubbed his temples, a headache forming right there.

''I read the ladies cards yesterday and saw this hurricane emerging.''

Rose glanced between Jack and Aishe, her eyes red. ''You saw this?''

''Hmm mm.'' She took a seat at the table where Rose had sat. ''People think I am crazy.'' She wound her index finger around her head. ''They think I am a gypsy whore, but I feel things Rose.''

''How do you know my name?''

Aishe raised her eyebrow. ''The strongest yet most delicate flower.'' She pointed to her hair. ''You're a redhead with the passion to match the fire.''

Rose touched her hair. Jack must have told her such things. She turned to him but he was just as astonished. ''Aishe, who have you talked to?''

She laughed coming closer to the couple. ''You both allowed me to read your destiny but separately. I saw you both coming.''

She placed her left hand over Rose's heart. It was beating wildly. She touched her golden curls and wrapped the end around her fingers, her bracelets jingling as she did so.

''Jack her heart beats for you.'' She touched Jack's chest. ''She has the face of an angel, the body of a Goddess.'' Her eyes pierced Jack's. ''Yet you chose me as your distraction.''

Rose felt her stomach sink. _Distraction?_ ''You two-?''

Aishe shushed Rose.

''Aishe-I.'' She placed her finger on Jack's lips. Her red vamp nail varnish dazzling as she did.

''Jack and I were lovers, twice-maybe three times. We drank whisky and discussed the hardships of this life.''

Rose bit her lip as it was confirmed to her. She glanced between them both. Images came flying into her mind and try as she might she couldn't block them.

''I have to go.'' She whimpered. Aishe let go of her as she flew to the door.

''Choose your own paths now and choose wisely or you will live with the consequences – forever.''

Then she was gone. The world was bleak again for Jack.


	7. Chapter 7 - Love Me Again

Her bed was cold, empty and unwelcoming but where else cold she crawl into the fetal position to hug herself? She fought to breathe, her body racked with sobs in such a way she had never felt. She brought the covers over her head and took slow breaths and held her stomach, she ached all over and her mind was full of overwhelming thoughts.

Jack was leaving tomorrow.

She knew those initial feelings would rise once more if she so even came face to face with him and those deeper feelings, well they never went away. She had colossal hole within her which only Jack would fill and only being with him, his presence was the only thing which made her whole. He had made her feel young and carefree once more in those few short hours, he had brought out the side which she believed to have been buried long ago.

She was tired but she knew she couldn't sleep. Thoughts haunted her mind and then there was Aishe…she was beautiful, Jack had _been_ with her and that made her feel so damned inadequate. Yet Aishe had encouraged Jack to Rose…

What right did she had to be jealous, to be angry at a man for taking an attractive woman to bed. A man who wasn't even hers and never really was.

It dawned on her just how Jack must feel with Bobby, to see them together. She sobbed again, her heart painfully throbbing in her chest.

''Rose?'' A knock came and her door creaked open. She pulled the blanket back to see Clara stood in Rose's yellow night gown. ''What's wrong honey?''

Rose wiped her face quickly. ''Nothing, just something silly.''

''Well wipe your face and come down. Bobby is lurking at the front window.''

Rose jumped out of bed, straightening out her dress. Clara turned on the bedroom lamp. Rose blinked in the sudden light, Clara noticed her eyes were black from her make up just as Rose caught sight of herself in the mirror.

''Shit, did you let him in?''

''No.'' Clara sat on Rose's bed. ''I figured he's made you like this he can stew for a minute.''

Rose watched Clara smile through the mirror. Of course she didn't know the real reason for her state but she was grateful for her to not let Bobby in at this second. ''Thanks Clara.''

She left the bedroom to wet a flannel to remove her makeup. Clara crossed her arms as she came to the bathroom door. ''You going to be all right?''

Even in her dressing gown, Clara was stunning. She was tall and slender with no shape but clothes hung beautifully from her frame. She ate like a horse and drank more, the epitome of a party girl. She kissed boys, loved them and then left them. Part of Rose envied that about her.

''I will be.'' She wiped the last of her lipstick and then ran her fingers through her hair. What would she tell Bobby to explain her red eyes and blotchy skin? Sleeping, or perhaps a bad dream.

'Don't worry, you look lovely.''

Her skin felt tight and bruised but what else could she do? Sighing she followed Clara down the stairs. Once at the bottom she peeked out of the window and sure enough the figure was still there. She raised her eyebrows at Rose.

''Should I wait up?''

Rose shook her head. ''No I will be all right.''

She felt the pit of her stomach bubble with nerves. She turned the doorknob and watched as Clara headed back up the stairs with an unsure look on her face. Rose was a grown woman and sure enough she was going to wait up even if she didn't want her to.

Bobby was wearing a long dark coat and a bowler hat. It was cooler out then before and Rose shivered not even thinking to fetch a coat.

''What are-''

She began to speak until he turned. It wasn't Bobby, it was Jack. She raised her hands to her mouth in complete shock.

''How did you find me?'' She whispered harshly.

She turned to see if Clara was looking out of the window and she wasn't.

''I asked at the theatre. I had to see you. I cannot just leave tomorrow like this.''

Her body ached and she shivered. ''Walk with me.'' She suddenly felt alert, her tiredness had vanished and she was thinking clearly for once. She took small and hesitant steps to him and saw the relief on his face. She crossed her arms over her chest. She watched her feet as she walked. They headed left, where too she did not know.

''Rose, Aishe and I-''

''Stop, please.'' She couldn't bear to think of them just as she had no right to an explanation. She couldn't look at him. ''I accept that we both love others.''

The words hurt him. ''I don't love her.'' He stopped her and placed his hands on her shoulders. ''It happened before I found you and once after, the night we met again.'' He hung his head. ''I needed to forget you. I was angry, hurt and I was jealous.''

She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. He had admitted his jealousy, they both mirrored the other.

''I wanted you all of these years and then I find you engaged to another man.''

''I thought you were gone!'' She snapped. ''You have no right to feel anything. Bobby loves me.''

Jack squeezed his eyes shut. His constant internal struggle still hurt. ''That is the worst part.'' He watched her. He knew she had cried and yet beneath the makeup she was still flawless. She looked seventeen again. ''He's not like Cal. I cannot just take you away and love you. I am not that selfish but this hurts.''

He was so raw, this man who stood beside her and the man she barely even knew. She watched him produce a flask from his inside pocket and neck some without even flinching. Liquor numbed his pain.

''So you drink it away?''

''What choice do I have? I leave in twelve hours. I cannot stay.''

''Why not?''

She felt the tears come to her eyes.

''Because I love you.''

He went to take another sip from his flask but she whipped it from his hand and threw it as hard as she could. It landed with a thunk on the ground in the distance.

''Look at yourself, you can't stand, can't look at me. Where is the Jack I knew?'' She placed her hands on his shoulders. ''You have so much anger and so do I yet you can't seem to handle yours.''

He shakily touched her face but she shunned him. ''I feel something too. You went with Aishe and I am engaged to Bobby.'' She took a deep breath; it didn't cleanse her at all in fact in make her more breathless. ''I can't stop loving him but I never stopped loving you either.''

She had no idea how much of an effect she had on him. Those were the words he had wanted her to say for days, _she loved him_ still. He linked his hands with hers. He was half drunk and she had never seen anybody more vulnerable. He came to her and kissed her forehead. Whiskey stench overwhelmed her. He was a shell of the man he was. He had been emotionally battered, he had been alone and suffering. He needed love and she wandered if loneliness was the reason for his drinking.

She could almost see the hole inside, she felt his bitterness and loneliness and as his eyes shone in the darkness, she felt his love. She closed her own eyes.

''After everything how do we even think about this?''

Jack took slow and steady breathes. ''I can't watch you marry him Rose.'' He repeated. ''But I can leave knowing you're alive and happy.''

Her eyes lined with tears, the idea of not seeing Jack hurt. ''What about you? You will go on with your life with the fair, drink and smoke your way into the 20's?''

She was angry, she felt he needed to have more concern about himself. She let go of his hands.

''That is what I planned to do.''

''And what about Aishe?''

She had never planned to ask such a thing. She hugged herself in the cold night. His eyes glazed over.

''She is my friend. She is the one person who kept me from drinking so much a grave was dug for me.'' He ran his hands through his hair. ''Damnit Rose, she was just a distraction. I know you don't like the idea,'' She was about to speak but he continued. ''I know you're jealous, I am too. The idea of Bobby, even as your husband with his hands on you, loving you as his wife it makes me want to drink so much I forget.''

He was silent for a moment. Once he had stopped she saw just how angry he was too. The truth was it was nobody's fault. They had both tried to move on with their lives but fate made is so they met just at the point where they believed it had happened.

The lump in her throat was painful, she shivered in the cool night air and she couldn't take her eyes away from him. Somewhere beneath the seven years of hurt he had lived through she could see Jack Dawson.

''Jack, I wish it was…'' She closed her eyes, cursing herself for even thinking this aloud. ''I wish it had been some months before.'' Her voice broke. ''I would come with you.''

''I'd marry you Rose; I would have done.'' He held his head. Thinking of what ifs killed him but then she had to know just how much he wanted her even now.

''I know. Seven years, Jack…it's such a long time and yet I lived on for you.''

They say time heals, that it lessens the pain and covers the wounds but it doesn't. The everyday pain may lessen but every now and again the scar bleeds again and now it wasn't going to stop. He knew how he felt, he felt sober in that moment. She felt like she was his soul mate, and that a strong force pulled him towards her. His palms were sticky and he felt somewhat nervous. For moments, they simply gazed into each other's eyes, feeling connected. Ever so slowly, Jack leaned towards Rose and inched towards her face his eyes not leaving hers until his mouth captured hers ever so slightly. Rose's eyes flickered closed, and she continued their kiss. Their bodies moved closer together and her hands ran down his back, as he touched her face gently and then her hair. Within seconds she was backed towards a tree, her stomach in knots and her mind completely empty. She had not kissed like this since him and she had forgotten what the experience was like. It was beautifully overwhelming…

His tongue was in her mouth but it wasn't hungry, it was gentle and it was passionate. She could feel just how much he loved her in that second. She tightened her grip around his neck and he grasped her waist tighter. She was no longer cold in fact she was on fire. The fire which he ignited…

Seconds later they both heard footsteps behind them followed by voices. It sounded like those from the theatre. Jack pulled away from her and she grinned.

''Shh, come on.'' She grasped his hand and pulled him in the direction where they had come from. Her house.

They ran quickly and as quietly as they could. Turning the doorknob, she ushered him inside before stumbling inside herself. She fell against his body and somehow in the complete darkness he found her lips again. The passersby could be heard going into the house next door, loud and drunk after the performance but she drowned them out. Rose's hand linked with Jack's and their faces were just an inch apart. She could remember the power he had over her, the power which made her feel weak and like they were the only two people in the world. Silence fell over them again, and they felt were the only two people in the world. Shakily, Jack touched Rose's cheek and their eyes never left the others. The power Rose had over Jack was indescribable; she was the most perfect thing he had laid eyes on. He touched her soft cheek, and before long the passion he had in him for Rose took over, and he kissed her mouth forcefully. She returned his kiss, more passionately than she had ever kissed him before. The moment was what Jack had been longing and waited for. It felt natural and like they were only meant to kiss each other. Jack kissed her forehead, her nose, her cheeks and then her lips again. Rose's hands ran through Jack's hair and she moaned slightly forgetting how good he made her feel.

A stumble from the kitchen followed and then the hallway light was turned on, Rose pulled away her eyes bleary from the bright light. ''What the-Rose?''

Clara stood with a knife for safety and a glass of milk in the other hand. Jack recognized her from the theatre as the girl who had flirted with him.

''I thought you were meeting Bobby!''


	8. Chapter 8 - What Do You Want?

''Oh Clara, please don't…'' She began but couldn't finish. ''This is…''

''A man who turned down my advances and now I know why if you're bedding him.'' She smiled softly. She lowered the knife. Rose saw her smile and somehow managed to relax.

''We're not like that.''

Jack glanced down at Rose, his heart was still beating from their kiss and he was completely unaware as to who this was.

''I'll say.'' She raised her eyebrows. ''Where is Bobby I thought he-oh wait, it was you outside not Bobby.'' It was all falling together now in her mind. ''So who is this guy?''

''I'm Jack. Rose and I we, we're old friends.''

Clara placed her milk on the windowsill and held out her left hand still clutching the knife in the other. ''Well I am Clara, Rose's housemate and we work together as you saw earlier.''

She shook his hand.

''Yes.''

Rose rubbed her flushed face. ''Clara, please. I cannot even think about anything right now could you forget about this.''

''Of course, honey.'' Clara was distracted momentarily as she glanced out of the window. ''Oh well you guys should move somewhere, I invited Steve over after he finished work and by the looks of it he's brought home half of Jesus' disciple's.''

Steve was another of Clara's 'friends', they drank together until the early morning and then slept past noon. He was also one of Bobby's friends.

''Come, quickly.'' She led Jack upstairs as she heard the boy's loud voices fill the hallway and Clara greet them loudly. She had been hoping for some sleep tonight.

She entered her room and left the light off. She pulled the curtains open to allow moonlight to stream through and then he removed his jacket and placed it over the chair next to her vanity unit. Bangs from downstairs could be heard and she bit her lip and pressed them together. She could still taste him all over her. When she turned, he was closer than she realized.

''I have never been alone with a man at night before.'' She whispered. The rowdiness of downstairs was forgotten and drowned out by her own loud thoughts. ''You're the only man I have been with.''

Jack could see the look on her face, her care had gone. She turned to walk around the side of the bed towards the window. She felt she had to put some distance between them. They could both feel something there between them. Their eyes met but then they looked away, the power too much for both of them. But they didn't know what it was. Jack began to back away from her and he clicked the door closed. She realised he had more to say, this vibe between them felt much more different than it had done before. It was so much stronger and seemed to be drawing her closer and closer to him. She began to back towards the window in order to get more air. She felt so tight and breathless. He came towards her a little; he didn't know what to say.

''Oh God Rose.'' He whispered breathlessly.

He hadn't thought of anything other than her, she had been in his head since the first day he had met her and now it seemed to be coming to a head. His feelings were almost too big and too much for him to control. He steps closed to her, running his fingers through his hair.

''What is happening here, Jack?'' She asked slowly and quietly.

He knew that she was acknowledging something too. There was so much between them. It was like an electric buzz growing louder and louder and getting stronger and stronger until it was deafening to them. They didn't know if it would go away or if it would continue. The only way it grew weaker was when they stepped closer to each other. She came towards him just once, a small and hesitant step. She was so lost in his face, those eyes that she trusted so much. His heartbeat grew stronger and quicker. He threw caution to the wind and placed his left hand on the flat of her face, she closed her eyes for just a second to take in the moment. He stroked it against her soft skin, she felt the flutters, the beautiful feeling which she knew she would only ever have with Jack.

He leant forward and kissed her just once on the lips. Barely grazing but the touch was still there. The buzz grew weaker and weaker. She sagged with relief against his body, but now she felt like she needed more.

She touched her lips with her index finger as he pulled away from her. They had opened a can of worms and it would get worse from here on out. The longing and the ache wouldn't grow duller but purer and stronger. He kept his hand on his cheek and slowly leant forward. He kissed the right side of her neck, so tenderly to the point where she shivered with weakness. Her whole body was ready to crumple beneath him.

''This feels right.''

She squeezed her eyes closed, leaning against him.

''Jack, this is impossible.'' She tried to push him away but she couldn't. He made her weaker.

''Listen to me-''

Rose felt the tears coming to her eyes. Jack was so open and real... not like anyone she has ever known. He took her face in his hands and she couldn't see anything except the love in his eyes.

''I love you Rose.''

He had said the words. The ones he never did during their time together and she had spent the years wondering if he did love her. His eyes mirrored hers.

Somewhere between the past and the present, she found herself weakening. This time it was she who kissed him first. Slowly and ever so gently. It was soft and he held her face so tightly so not to let her go. Just the smallest touch took her breathe away.

She pulled away from him only to move backwards to lay herself down on the bed. The exact spot where she had laid an hour ago believing that her pain would never heal but in that moment, the pain was gone and it was replaced by just Jack. He was here with her. She laid facing the window and he climbed onto the bed behind her. His arm wrapped around her waist and then tucked under her chin where she clasped his left hand, then other he laid under her head and she took that hand also, holding it to her lips. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and then she pulled her body closer to his so that the curve of their bodies pressed together.

There they fell asleep.

Pins and needles woke Jack in the middle of the night but he didn't move his arm, not wishing to disturb Rose and break the contact. He studied her face and just how beautiful she was. Her hair spread on the pillow around her head, those curls framing her face. He lay in the dark, not even daring to move. His thoughts were his own and they were of one person only. Rose. Wind and rain unexpectedly smashed against the windows and he realized the noise downstairs had died down. Perhaps they had drunk themselves to sleep. It was then he realized that he hadn't woken in the night to stumble into the bar to find something strong to help him sleep, instead he had awoken to watch her and protect her. He sighed, he loved her so much.

He turned his head, rolling it back on the pillow. She faced him. Their fingers so close but not fully touching. The tiniest contact which caused such strange feelings, the feelings neither had before. His arm was still beneath her head and she had moved in her sleep onto her back also.

Another bang came on the window, the rain bashing against the glass. Rose sat up suddenly, her hair disheveled in a lovely way. She rubbed her eyes and stretched a little. Jack too sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. He hadn't had much sleep; his mind ran wildly. Thoughts he couldn't share with anyone. He felt the familiar feeling of sleeping under a bridge while been very sleep deprived but he knew he had to pull through.

''What time do you leave today?'' She broke the silence. She turned to see the clock in the dark. It was almost five am.

''Midday.'' He whispered.

''Seven hours.''

He watched as she stood from the bed and smoothed out her dress. Sleep had come to her because she was in his arms and now she wasn't the panic of what had happened was overcoming her.

She had her eyes closed and he stood from the bed, came to her and touched the small of her back with his right hand rubbing it slightly and her eyes flickered open.

''How do you feel?''

Rose moved closer to Jack and he placed his arm around her shoulder. ''So tired. The past three days are such a blur.''

His stomach sank. ''What do you want Rose?''

She turned to him. Their eyes locked and he couldn't do anything except leant forward and kiss her lips just once.

''It will come to you.'' He sighed.

Kicking away her shoes, she lifted both of her feet onto the bed and laid herself down, she had barely slept.

''I know.'' she muttered tiredly, feeling her eyes roll around slightly. Jack smiled, lying beside her but propping himself up on his elbow and his dark blonde hair hung in his face. Rose studied his face carefully, he appeared so young, he was beautiful. His tan skin, the cute freckles over his nose, the chicken pox scars on his forehead, his button nose and pouted lips and of course his gorgeous light blue eyes. His hair hung in his eyes and Rose lifted her hand slightly moving the hair away. Jack ran his through her auburn locks which spread out on the pillow. He entwined his fingers with hers and ran his thumb over her hand. They remained silent for a while just enjoying been next to each other, and before they knew it they were asleep.


	9. Chapter 9 - I Can't Go On Like This

Rose awoke some hours later to the sound of gushing water, it was loud and followed by a huge bang. The room was still dark, or at least most of it was. She sat up in the bed, it squeaked under her weight. She ran her fingers through her hair before rubbing her eyes, she still felt sleepy and as though this was a dream. She pulled back the covers to stand and stretch a little. It was then she realised she and Jack had both fell asleep on the bed and now he wasn't there. She followed the sound of water out into the hallway to see a light in a small room. She peered in the doorway to find Clara running a bath. Steam filled the room and she hadn't yet seen her. She came further towards her and she stood up straight.

''Hey.''

She smiled to Rose. She stood in just her underwear and smoked a roll up cigarette.

''Morning.''

''Sorry to wake you.'' She muddled around in the cupboard and eventually found a small bag, she rattled through it to find a man's razor blade. She took another drag from her cigarette.

''This bath is for you by the way.'' She eyed Rose. ''I come down last night for some milk and I find you head over heels with this guy!''

Rose rubbed her head. She sat on the toilet seat and rubbed her eyes. They were tired and Clara saw the bags under them.

''Jesus Clara.'' The bang came again and Rose realized it was the tank. It sounded like a gun. She held her head as Clara turned off the tap and sat on the edge of the bath. Rose eyed her friend, she could have sworn she had lost more weight. Her ribs protruded through her skin.

''I thought Bobby was outside too.'' She sighed. ''It was Jack.''

''So Bobby upset you?'' Clara took another drag of her cigarette.

Rose shook her head. ''No Bobby is out of this.''

Her eyes widened. ''So you're not engaged anymore?''

''No! Well yes we are!' They were both getting the wrong end of the stick. She sighed with frustration. ''Bobby is-forget him.''

She placed her head in her hands and Clara finished her cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray on the side of the bath. ''How long have you been seeing this guy?''

''I haven't. Tonight was the first time, well actually no…''

Clara stood from the bath and sat on the floor in front of Rose. She grasped Rose's hand to remove them from her face. ''Come on lady, I got all morning to get this out of you and I know just how much its eating you up.''

Rose rolled her eyes. She felt her head throb. ''Clara, I don't even know what to tell.''

''Then I will ask the questions.''

Rose said nothing. She couldn't argue.

''Who is this Jack guy?''

Rose rubbed her face once more. ''I met him some time ago. Seven years. We- we met under complicated circumstances and then we fell in love.''

Clara nodded, ushering her to continue. ''We believed the other to be dead until we met again at the fair on Monday. I was with Bobby and now I don't know what to do…''

''Hmm. Hold on…'' Clara stood from the bathroom floor and quickly ran into her bedroom and reappeared seconds later wearing Steve's shirt and carrying two rolled cigarettes and a box of matches. She closed the bathroom door for security.

''I think better when I have a cigarette.'' She sat back on the floor and placed the cigarette between her lips. She offered one to Rose knowing she only smoked when she was fantastically drunk but on this occasion she knew she needed the edge taking away. Rose took it from her and watched Clara expertly strike a match and light the cig. She did the same for Rose, knowing just how much she struggled the last time.

Rose took a deep drag and was surprised by how much it calmed her. ''Is Steve here?''

Clara nodded. ''Yes, he spent the night.'' She spoke quickly. ''He's all right, not much of a keeper but he will pass the nights along.'' She shook her head. ''Back with you. So Jack knows your engaged?''

''Yes.''

''And he still kissed you?''

Rose nodded, carefully inhaling her cigarette.

''Boy, he is good looking.''

Rose slapped Clara's hand playfully causing her to flick ash on the floor. ''Shit.'' She laughed, using her finger to rub it away. Rose couldn't help but laugh too.

''I want to know something.'' Clara's face fell serious. ''Do you love Bobby?''

Rose paused. ''I thought I did.'' Just a week ago she had been happy with him, they were playful and he made her feel a sense of security she never had. He never tried to take her to bed, to force things but she knew he loved her with all of his heart. Guilt overwhelmed her in that moment.

''You thought? Rose, you're going to marry the guy.''

Clara sagged her shoulders.

''I was.''

''Let me guess, you love Jack?''

Rose took the last drag of her cigarette and stood from the toilet seat to discard of it. Once she had she removed her dress and threw it to the floor standing in just her underwear. Clara's eyes widened.

''Jesus, look at you.''

She turned Rose to the mirror above the sink and wiped away the condensation. She saw the red marks around her neck where Jack had kissed her. She touched them ever so gently and felt how tender it was. She had never seen them before.

''You're covered in hickeys!'' Clara laughed, she moved Rose's hair and flicked it over her left shoulder. ''He sure is sweet for you.''

Rose held onto the sink for balance. It was hot in the room from the steam and the situation. She turned to become face to face with Clara who was taller than Rose by a few inches.

''What do I do Clara?''

Slowly her friend shook her head. ''You have to do what you feel is right in here.'' She touched Rose's chest. ''I have never been in love. Except maybe once years ago. If he came back, I would be sobbing into my champagne over his lovely wife and kids. The ones he refused to leave me for.''

''Clara, you're beautiful. You have your pick of men.''

Clara tilted her head to one side and smiled warmly. ''But I never fall in love with them. One day I might do and until that day I am happy. You on the other hand have two men, both who love you and I'm sure you love one of them more than the other.''

Rose struggled to breath. ''Yes.''

''I know Jack is leaving town in six hours. He told me so himself when he tried to sneak out this morning.''

Rose furrowed her brow. ''He snuck out?''

Clara nodded. ''He thought it was for the best. He wants you to be happy, Rose. So I guess that means he was leaving you alone to think it over.''

Rose wanted to scream. She turned back to see her own reflection in the mirror. The lump in her throat was more protruding and suddenly she couldn't feel anything but the pain which had started last night. Clara just had time to gather Rose's hair before she vomited into the sink, violently and quickly to the point where she couldn't breathe and tears pricked at her eyes. She grabbed her stomach and when she thought she had done. It happened again.

''Holy Jesus, look at you.'' She rubbed Rose's back sympathetically but Rose just sagged her body onto the floor as she wiped her mouth. Her throat burned, her stomach churned and then she realized she had barely eaten two scraps in days due to her situation.

''Clara, I can't go on like this.''

Clara quickly grabbed a flannel and dampened it with cool water. She sunk to the floor next to Rose and placed it on her forehead. She welcomed the cold against her face.

''You need to bathe, have a rest and then come back to me when you think you know what you want.''


	10. Chapter 10 - Sliding Doors

**I just want to apologise for the lack of enthusiasm I have put into this story. I wrote all of this back in October in the space of a few weeks and then I have somewhat neglected it since to concentrate on ''Free Me'' and then I have not actually written anything since well before Christmas aside from a one shot which I posted a few days ago.**

 **I am well and truly dedicating myself to this again because just a few months ago the ideas came to me every day and I was passionate about it.**

 **Thank you for bearing with me and for the reviews and messages. I don't ignore you and they all still mean a lot to me. I hope you continue to enjoy…**

 _ **Sliding Doors**_

Bobby knocked once before letting himself into the house where his fiancée lived. He rubbed his feet at the doorway with a bunch of red roses in his hands, freshly picked on the way.

''Good morning,'' he started for the kitchen but on his way through the dining room he found Steve, his friend nursing a large cup of coffee. Singing came from the kitchen and Clara was cooking some bacon and eggs in her night gown.

''It's too early for 'good mornings.'' Steve groaned, holding his head. Bobby pressed his lips together in amusement as he laid the roses out on the table.

''I see you and Clara had a party last night?''

''Yes we did.'' Clara came in front the kitchen holding two plates of eggs and bacon. ''Rose drank way too much and she's in bed not too well.''

Clara widened her eyes to Steve as a warning before he could even open his mouth to speak. She then realized he was still half cut and probably couldn't even remember who was drinking with them. She placed the plate in front of him and he dug in quickly.

Bobby glanced at his watch. ''What time did she sleep? I have plans for us today.''

''About six.'' Steve spoke showing his egg as he ate. Clara nodded to Steve's answer.

''Yes, very late. You know Rose, she doesn't take too well to alcohol like we do.'' Clara delicately began to cut her bacon.

''I remember,'' He shrugged his shoulders. ''Do you mind if I join you for some coffee?''

Clara shook her head with a mouthful of breakfast. ''Sure dig in. There is more in the pot. I would have done breakfast if I knew you were coming.''

''Don't worry about it.'' Bobby pulled out a chair. ''Rose just didn't mention this party to me.''

''Clara gathered a few of us last night after the play.'' Steve told his friend. ''We had such a good night, the crowd came in and we all had fun.''

Clara smirked as her boyfriend spoke animatedly. He too was an actor at the theatre. He was the heartthrob, the Romeo of them all and she had to admit aside from his slightly lazy side, he was a bit of all right.

Clara glanced at the clock above the fire place. It was past nine and Rose hadn't woken up yet after her bath. She knew Jack would be leaving town around twelve and needed to get Bobby out of the house soon to make sure she could speak to her friend.

Bobby poured himself a black coffee with no sugar and took a sip. It wasn't red hot, just drinkable and he welcomed the taste. ''Well next time, let me know.''

''You're always working Bob. You sit at that damned typewriter all hours of the day.''

Bobby smirked at his friend. ''At least some of us do some work!'' He teased as he reached forward and took a rash of bacon from Steve's plate.

''Hands off! I need the meat to soak up the liquor before it all starts again tonight!'' He laughed.

''All you folks do is drink.''

Clara finished her eggs and took a sip of her coffee. ''You got to live in the moment, right Stevie.''

''Right, Clara. I like to smoke and to have a fuckin' drink. So what? I like parties and girls, you meet one and settle down. We all win. We're all happy.''

Bobby was quiet for a moment. He couldn't help but pity Steve a bit. They had gone to school together and had grown apart at some point during their late teens but after discovering each other through mutual friends they had become tight once more. Steve was the lothario, a different girl most nights even though Clara seemed to have tamed him somewhat and then Bobby was the polar opposite, so quiet and reserved and although he did enjoy their parties and drinking, he couldn't quite keep up or do it so frequently.

''If you boys excuse me I better powder my nose before the mail comes.'' Clara stood from her chair. Her long tanned legs showing as she started for the stairs.

As soon as she reached the top she could see Rose's figure in the bathroom. Her hair was long and down to her waist, dyed blonde thanks to Clara who had encouraged her to 'change her roots.' She had gone from a redhead to dark brown and now to blonde. She had applied some make up and generally looked better. She wore light brown pants and a pale pink shirt which she had grabbed without ironing. She was watching herself in the mirror, so absentmindedly. Rose sensed Clara's presence.

''When I look in the mirror I do not even see my former self. The girl I was when I met, Jack.'' She sighed, she clung to the sink her knuckles white. ''Yet when I was with him I feel like that girl again.''

Clara placed her hands on her friend's shoulders. ''It's been seven years. You won't look the same and after that long you also won't feel seventeen.''

''But he ignites the same fire which burnt out all those years ago.''

Clara ran her hands down Rose's hair. It was long and beautiful, the exact opposite of her own. ''Bobby is downstairs. He believes you to have been up all night drinking with us.'' Rose sagged her body. ''He doesn't know anything and I will never be the one to tell him.''

Rose sighed gratefully and reached her hand out to grab Clara's. ''But I think you should be the one to tell him.''

Her eyes met Clara's in the mirror. ''Tell him what?''

''That you love Jack, that you want to be with him.''

Tony held a brandy is his hand. Jack watched as he necked some more, screwing up his face as he did so. For the first time in a long time he didn't feel the need to drink. He watched the clock, it was almost ten. His stomach sank. He had spent all morning thinking about Rose and what to do with his own life. He had packed away every piece of clothing he owned and he was ready to move on from this city and onto the next.

''You know I don't think I have ever seen you sober at such an hour.'' Tony grinned. Jack drummed his fingers on the table. ''Fucks sake, do you have to do that? My head hurts already!'

Jack stopped immediately. ''I cannot think about anything else but her!''

Tony drank more of his brandy. ''Who? Aishe? I thought you were already under her spell.' He laughed in a mocking way.

''No, Rose.''

''Oh there's another girl now. You're almost catching up to me.''

Jack slowly closed his eyes. He could remember when Tony was tolerable. When his drinking didn't bother him and they would share cigars at sunset and drive into town for more beer so drunkenly they should have been arrested and now he feared even wanting a drink before noon again.

''You know there is more to life than these endless girls and beer, Tony.''

Tony sat up straight in his chair. ''Mate, back in the day you drank more than me,'' he watched Jack as he glanced at the clock for the umpteenth time that hour. ''Jesus, can you pull yourself a beer and sit down. You're making me nervous.''

He grabbed Tony's glass to drink but for some reason he couldn't lift it as though it was the heaviest boulder. He attempted again but he felt weak. He gave up in frustration. For some reason the brandy was suddenly the least appealing thing to him. He shook his own head. What good was sitting here waiting for midday so he could leave town? Was he waiting for her to come to him?

''I can't do it, Tony.'' He stood from his chair and almost stumbled over it. Tony was left gaping.

''Do what?''

He ignored him as he headed for the door. He crossed the field where he and Rose had giggled the night before. He felt the lack of sleep and he ached but he was running on adrenaline and his own damn feelings. He loved her. She had kissed him last night. He had to do the right thing by her but he had to see her before he left.

He recalled sneaking out that morning when Clara had caught him.

'' _Hey, where you think you're heading?''_

 _Clara had collared him just as he was nearing the bottom of the stairs. She followed him with her dressing gown pulled tightly around her body, her arms folded over it and a stern look on her face._

'' _I have to let her think.'' He had told her._

 _Clara had led him into the dining room and closed the door so that they could whisper without been heard even though Steve was out cold._

'' _You know something about Rose?'' Clara began. ''I have known her almost six years and when I met her she was a lonely nineteen-year-old girl. I had come here from Chicago and she had worked at the theater for a year or so, worked her way from the shy girl at the back and the girl on stage shone like a beautiful star and the girl beneath it was damaged.''_

 _Jack breathed out slowly, his heart sinking. ''I was too.''_

'' _I don't know you two met, or how you came to part but one things for sure; this girl hasn't gotten you out of her heart.''_

 _Jack softened. ''I wish I could have known her then.''_

 _Clara touched Jack's shoulder. ''I don't know you, I know her. Bobby is a good man, he loves the bones off her but the thing is, he doesn't like her acting so much; sharing her with these other boys swooning over her dancing.''_

 _Jack stiffened at the mention of his name. Clara continued, ''But I say to him 'Bob, leave the girl be, she is fabulous actress and one day she will have her name up in lights in Hollywood' he doesn't have so much faith.''_

'' _I knew from the moment I laid eyes on her.'' Jack smiled at the memory. ''She wanted to be a moving picture actress.''_

 _Clara melted, he really did love her. ''She is my best friend, I confide in her and she in me but the one thing I never did tell her; I don't think Bobby is the one for her.''_

 _Jack narrowed his eyes._

'' _She was not so hung up on him to start with and then the war came and that changed everything. She wrote to him and I think she ached to be loved by somebody. As soon as he came back they were engaged quicker than they both knew it.''_

'' _But he made her happy. That is the one thing that I do not want her to lose.''_

 _Clara let go of Jack's shoulder instead she placed her hand flat to his face and lightly slapped it twice. ''Perhaps that will wake you up.''_

 _And then she had gone back up the stairs._

He walked through the streets with such determination he was almost at her house within ten minutes. It was a few minutes or so away when he noticed someone stop in front of him. It took a second for Jack and his eyes left the pavement and found a familiar face.

''Hello, Jack isn't it?''

It was Bobby Calvert. He took in his friendly face, his slouched body and the fact he was carrying roses.

''Yes, hello.''

Bobby held out his hand to Jack and hesitantly he shook it.

''I thought the fair was off today.''

Jack squinted in the sunlight. ''Yes it is. I was just off to-run some errands.''

''Well good luck. You have a talent.''

''Thank you.''

Bobby nodded one gentleman to another and then he continued on his way. He had come from the direction of Rose's house and his stomach sank momentarily. He wiped his hand down his trousers feeling just how clammy he was.

It took him a moment to glance about to see where Bobby was and then he could make out his grey jacket entering a shop just within eye shot. He put one foot in front of the other and minutes later he managed to make it to Rose's house.

He watched through the window as he saw Clara pottering around. He knocked just once and lightly, his stomach knotted.

An unfamiliar face came to the door. ''Hello.''

His eyes were bloodshot and his speech slurred. He leant on the door for support.

''Oh hey, is Rose in?''

He pulled the door all the way open, to reveal he was only wearing underwear. Jack kept his eyes upright.

''Oh no. Actually no.'' He narrowed his eyes at Jack. ''Who are you?''

''-he's the mail guy, Steve.'' Clara pushed passed the guy known as Steve. ''Do me a favor and do those dishes, they won't clean themselves.'' She shoved him out of the way. He noticed she had a certain look about her. She closed the door behind her so they both stood outside.

''Sorry about him, he's still drunk.''

Jack rubbed his nose, glancing about. ''It's all right.''

''So how'd it go? I'm so sorry Bobby just left. We had to sneak Rose out whilst he was in the bathroom.'' She waved her hands around demonstrating her stress.

Jack furrowed his brow. ''How did what go?''

''Rose, she came to talk to you, right?''

''No.''


	11. Chapter 11 - Stop Running

**Chapter eleven - Stop Running**

The fair was packed up. The field which was so full of life the day before was now just empty and full of dirt tracks where the tents had been dragged from the grass. It was an entirely different world and Rose couldn't help but find herself disappointed. It had brought life, love and laughter after the war-but then there were complications and of course it had brought her Jack.

The pub door sat open. She found herself walking towards it. There was not a soul in sight. Her heart beat quickly. She had spent the morning in between sickness, tiredness and applying make up to make her feel semi human and then discovering her fiancé was downstairs ready to take her out. Clara had spun a tale of her feeling hungover and yet somehow she had managed to sneak Rose out whilst he was upstairs. So much had happened in such a short space of time and now she didn't know if her head was spinning or stood still but gradually on the walk here she had managed to pull herself together a little. Maybe seeing him would bring the entire mornings headache to a standstill.

She entered the pub to find a man alone sitting on a chair in front of the log burning fire. The look on his face suggested he was elsewhere. She assumed he was Tony.

''Hello.'' She came to him slowly.

He lifted his head, his shoulders sagging backwards. He managed a smile.

''Hello, lady.'' He attempted to sit up.

''I'm looking for Jack.''

''Dawson?''

''Yes.''

Tony slapped the table laughing. ''Oh boy, he has those girls chasing him.''

Rose watched him. ''Is he here?'' She ignored his previous comment, she just needed to see him.

''No ma'am. I am afraid you missed him.''

''He left town?''

''No not until midday, he went after that girl. I forgot her name.''

Rose narrowed her eyes. ''What girl?''

''The gypsy.'' He managed before shakily taking his glass and drinking what was left of his brandy. ''Would you like a drink?''

Rose backed away slowly. Images of Jack kissing Aishe flew into Rose's head and she felt dizzier than ever. Tears pricked in her eyes, and she glanced at Tony. He had gone with _her._ Was this the plan all along or was it simply because she hadn't made her decision last night? She reached out to grasp something to steady herself but there was nothing there.

''So you want a drink?'' Tony offered Rose, seeing she was obviously surprised that Jack wasn't here. Rose slowly nodded her head just once.

She couldn't do anything but sit on the seat opposite Tony. At least sat down she felt less unsteady. He staggered to his feet and found his way to the bar.

Tears came down her cheeks, she felt as though she had her heart broken – again. She didn't know why, it was as though she and Jack were together. Was she stupid to believe he could have feelings for her? Aishe was in her mind. Her beautiful figure, her green eyes and the way she seduced everything around her.

Tony returned a few seconds later, with a glass of brandy in his hand. He handed it to Rose, before sitting herself on his chair.

Rose sniffed the drink, feeling it burn her eyes before it even reached her lips. She had done brandy before with the kids at the theatre and it didn't leave you feeling anything except painless.

''You knock it down.'' Tony gestured to her. ''Numbs the pain.''

Rose nodded, taking his advice and brought the glass to her lips knocking it full back and feeling it burn her insides.

''Oh God.'' She felt her eyes water, remembering how she first felt when she had knocked a glass of whisky with Clara.

''What did he say before he left?'' She had to know, she was already openly crying in front of a stranger, not that he would remember much of it.

''Just that he couldn't stop thinking about her.'' He grinned, his voice was mocking. ''Thing is Jack always has been so damned soft.''

Rose grabbed the glass and moved it slowly in a circle to distract her mind. ''Perhaps it's the Irish in him.'' She mocked his words from the night before.

''Oh no. Us Irish kids usually take some flack but he- he's different.'' Tony grabbed his chair and moved closer to Rose, the chair grating against the floor as he did. She squinted her eyes, the squeal hurting her head. He lowered his tone as though someone would be listening to him. ''Thing is; I think he's loved this one woman most of his life. He won't commit to any other.''

Rose narrowed her eyes.

''I think she left him years ago or perhaps she ran off with a fuckin' preacher, I don't exactly know the story but all I know is it broke him down into tiny pieces.''

It was _her_. She knew Tony was talking about her. She could feel the tears coming again. He had spent all night with her to let her go the next day. Was this because she didn't tell him she couldn't let Bobby go?

She placed her head in her hands. Instinctively, Tony stumbled to his feet again. This time he grabbed the full bottle of brandy from the side of the bar and fetched it to the table. He filled his own to the top and then hers halfway. She reached out for the glass still half covering one face. She nursed it, knowing it would make her feel better.

''Don't worry Miss.'' Tony stroked her hair. He was stupidly harmless despite his drunken state.

''I love him though.'' She sobbed, ''I always did.''

Tony stroked her hair, taking another sip of his drink.

''Drink it up, don't waste it.''

She took a sip and felt it burn. It was then she realized that brandy wasn't meant to be sipped so instead she knocked the entire thing back once again.

''What a girl!'' He grinned. ''I'm sure once he's through with this Rose girl he will come crawling back. He always does.''

Rose lifted her head. ''Rose?''

Tony nodded slowly, frowning himself. ''Yes, the girl he ran off to find this morning.''

Rose squinted. Confusion surrounded her. This man was wildly drunk and was making no sense at all. ''He went to find Rose?''

Tony nodded. ''Yes, that's what I said from the start.''

A million thoughts ran through her mind, she brought her shaking left hand to her head and touched it gently feeling a migraine coming on. The day had been long and she hadn't been awake long. She stood from the chair and didn't even acknowledge Tony further. She walked outside into the field where the fair had stood just days before. Just where could he be? Had he gone to find her? She felt like screaming, perhaps then he could hear her frustration.

The wind soothed her, she closed her eyes for a second trying to calm her wild heart. She could feel the effects of the brandy already but in a way it had helped her. As she reopened her eyes she saw Bobby. He stood still, she gasped. She found herself walking towards him and within twenty seconds she was next to him.

''Rose? Whatever is the matter?''

She had been crying, he could tell. He reached forward to touch her face but she flinched. He recoiled his hand, she had never acted in such a way before. She blinked her eyes, making sense of her own head. Something caught her attention behind Bobby, it was Jack. He stood about fifteen feet away. Her appearance had made him stop in his tracks. In that moment it was as though everything made sense.

''Rose?''

''I need to talk.''

''What's wrong honey?'' He replied, obviously not fully aware of the seriousness of the conversation.

Her eyes fell on Jack. She knew where he heart lay in that moment. She was so scared of facing up to uncertainty. Bobby had been all she had known for so long, he had ensured her safety and he had loved her. She felt her stomach sinking.

''Bobby, I cannot become your wife,'' she began, tears falling, ''I love another and perhaps I always have.''

Rose squeezed her eyes shut as she spoke. She couldn't even bare to see the look on his face. The pain which he felt seemed unbearable. He could not grasp the situation; he had not yet processed the words which had come out of her mouth.

''I let him slip away once a very long time ago and I cannot do that again.''

The roses which he carried had now slipped from his fingers to the ground. ''I- But I love you.''

''I know you do, which is why I have to tell you this.''

She saw his eyes sparkle with unshed tears. His mouth slightly ajar. ''Where is all of this coming from?''

''The person I love I believed to be dead, he is alive and well.''

Bobby raised his eyebrows as his breathing shallowed. He couldn't possibly be hearing this right. It was only when Rose began to fiddle with her engagement ring when he realized she was serious and his tears fell.

''No, Rose.''

She pulled it from her finger. It glittered in the light. It was beautiful and dainty and once upon a time that was exactly what she wanted. She shook as she grasped his hand and placed it in his palm. ''Thank you for everything. You are a wonderful man and I hope you meet a woman who will make you happier than I ever could.''

She didn't know what else to say. A kiss on the cheek would be inappropriate and so would any other words. She walked on, leaving him stood there alone and heartbroken.

She found her feet ushered her to run and so she did. To her future.


	12. Chapter 12 - Please, Stay

**I gotta say, this may not be to everybody's taste as it gets to the end so…just a warning ;)**

 **Please, stay.**

As she ran, she noticed that adjacent to Jack was the van which had brought him here just a week or so before with the fair. She stopped as she watched the door close. A sign of its departure.

He came to her instead. She watched as he ran the last few feet and it wasn't until he was next to her that she knew what he had chosen. He held her so tightly that she almost couldn't breathe but that didn't matter because in that moment she knew that she had made the right choice. Not all choices were easy, this definitely wasn't but she knew it would be the source of her happiness.

''Jack-'' A man's voice shouted from the van as they wound up the engine. ''You coming boy or not?'

He ignored the shouts. He almost didn't hear them for nothing else mattered in that moment besides him and Rose.

''Jack, I want you to stay,'' she whispered.

She felt him nod in response. The once blue skies overhead seem to darken and he glanced up to see black clouds appearing. ''I'm not leaving you, not again.''

She shuddered in his arms. He took her hand and began to lead her away from the field. They shouted Jack's name one last time but it was lost in the now falling rain. She turned to see Bobby had seen her run to Jack and that it was he who she loved. He was stood alone in the rain, already pain in his broken heart. She couldn't think of that now.

She allowed Jack to lead her from the field and into a clearing where thick trunked trees didn't allow much room in-between them. Jack led her through as she struggled in the mud and the rain.

''Come on.'' She forced her way through, scratching herself on the bark of the trees then they came to a small clearing with wooden steps leading up. She followed Jack up the steps and he opened a random door. She realised this was a treehouse. It was house shaped, with no windows and a gas lamp inside.

''What is this place?''

Jack forced the door closed and managed to bolt it.

''It's not as sturdy as it used to be. This was where Tony and I would come and drink ourselves to death,'' he smirked, ''we built it a couple of years ago over the summer I was here with the fair.''

She glanced around as her heels clacked on the wood. She couldn't imagine Jack building such a great thing. She touched the wood, it was smooth. ''This is amazing!'' She turned to Jack. ''Does nobody know this exists?

''No, that's why we built it deep in here. It was our escape.'' He grinned. It was almost pitch black in the treehouse due to no natural light. He found the gas lamp in the corner and bent down as he struck a match to light it. It didn't provide a lot of light but enough for them to see the other enough. The rain could barely be heard.

Both of their clothes were soaking wet and clinging to them in every way.

''Where did the damned rain come from?'' He laughed, shaking his head so it flicked water everywhere. She screamed as it hit her, laughing.

His white shirt had soaked completely through and her eyes travelled to his muscles which were more defined through his garments. Jack unbuttoned his shirt and removed it completely. Rose said nothing but her eyes glanced over his body and she felt something stir inside of her. He had changed a little. He was no longer a boy but a man.

Shaking her head, she bought herself back to the present. Rose glanced down and knew she was completely wet. Her pale pink top would have to be peeled off her. Her hair stuck to her face and she wrung out the excess water before shaking her head. Jack watched as she did this. She was beautiful, even drenched to the bone. She didn't try to hide herself and he could see the outline of her breasts through the fabric of the shirt. He could feel his uneven breathing as she turned to face him. Her curls cascading down her shoulders. She glanced to him and gave him a small smile, almost shyly. He stepped towards her not exactly knowing why, just feeling he had to be close to her. She was nothing short of perfect. She lowered her lashes before their eyes met and interlocked and silence fell upon them for several seconds, both of them feeling their heart pound. Suddenly, Jack could take no more, he had to kiss her, and be close to her. He pulled her body towards his and their lips met. Jack touched her face as he kissed her, making her stomach churn heavily. Jack kissed Rose's neck breathlessly and she pushed him away slightly, he looked at her a look of confusion on his face. He thought he had hurt her or moved too fast. She ran her hand across his bare chest and stomach. His muscles were tight and he had little hair, he was tanned the same as he was years before. She could feel cold shivers running down her back as he kissed her neck before slowing the kiss down as they caught their breathes.

She pushed him away for a moment utterly breathless. He moved his hair from his eyes as she pulled up her shirt slightly to reveal a flat stomach. She unbuttoned the trousers one by one before shimmying out of them and throwing them to the floor. They were wet through. She allowed her shirt to fall down and it stopped just above her knees like a dress.

''Come on let's get you warm.'' Jack sat on the floor, his trousers still wet. He pulled Rose close to him. He kissed her forehead as they both sat silently. She squeezed his hand and moved closer to him. She put her hand through his arm, cradling it before resting her head on his shoulder. They felt like the only two people in the world. She found she didn't want to leave this small and uncomfortable tree house.

''Why did you decide to stay?'' She broke the silence.

He glanced down at her. ''Do you need to ask such a thing?''

She didn't but she needed to know it was for her alone.

He sighed, ''I love you.''

She shivered, her shirt now freezing cold against her skin. She knelt up and turned to him. ''I loved you back then, when I was still just a child and I gave everything to you; my heart, my life, my virginity. I never wanted another.''

He held out his hand to her. ''Neither did I.''

She slid to him on her knees not feeling the rough wood beneath her skin. She stopped just before she pressed herself to him and slowly undid the buttons on her shirt one by one. Jack licked his lips and held his breathe, she could hear just how fast his heart was beating and hers seemed to match his. Once the buttons were undone she revealed a simple white brassiere. She removed her arms from the shirt and threw it to where she had left her pants. Her stomach was smooth and flat before the white lace of her undergarments began.

His lips crushed against hers, she shivered and not from the cold. He didn't stop kissing her, their tongues massaging and teeth biting bottom lips. He touched every part of her, tingling every nerve and caressing and embracing her imperfections. She wasn't shy anymore. He made her feel beautiful. She felt complete when he made love to her.

The thunder had ceased some time later but the rain still continued to tap steadily against the treehouse. Rose's head lay on Jack's chest as he stroked her still damp hair. She draped her left arm over his chest. They were still naked, their bodies pressed so close together. This whole experience was so new to her. The intimacy which came with Jack felt so beautiful. She fought sleep as she felt so peaceful, they had laid in silence for some time with their own thoughts. This moment was one which she never wanted to end. Jack's fingers threaded through her hair and she could feel his breathing so steady and the strong beat of his heart. She contemplated everything in her head, just how happy she was laying here with him.

''Did you sleep well?'' His arm immediately came around her shoulder and she hugged against his almost naked body. He wore just his undergarments.

''As well as I could on a wooden floor.'' She smiled at his concern. ''Though I hadn't realised I had slept.''

She could smell the rain outside which caused her to shiver. She was covered by a white sheet and he held a can of soup in his hand. He handed her a spoon. She hadn't seen such things when they had arrived.

''Don't worry. It's not so bad.''

She came to him wrapping the blanket around her body like a towel and leaning against him for warmth. She dipped the spoon into the can before taking a spoonful. He was right, cold vegetable soup was not so bad.

''I have never eaten like this.'' She smiled.

''Well this is how I lived when I was out in California. I would make a fire at the beach, roast some marshmallows, sleep and then move on the next day.''

She laughed but her body ached so badly. She wanted to live that way. She took another spoonful. She placed her right arm around his body, feeling how warm he was and she relished the feeling. Just the touch of his skin was enough to make her feel so warm and cherished.

He kissed her forehead. ''I want to spent the rest of my life as happy and free as I feel right now.''

She glanced around the treehouse, it was pitch black except for the Gaslamp. It cast shadows across the walls and she felt as though no one else in the world existed except the two of them. A life like this alone would be lonely though and she realised there and then that she would never allow Jack to leave her life.

''We should stay here.'' Jack whispered as he kissed her ear. ''Hide out until morning and then run for the hills.''

She rested her head against his shoulder. He made this life sound so easy.

''I would love to.'' He kissed her forehead.

''Is it as good as this all of the time?''

Jack's smile faded. ''No, Rose.'' He pressed his lips together. ''Sometimes I was lonely, I was hungry and I didn't know where my next meal would come from. I met some generous people, they would share their food and their stories and others would rather see you starve.''

Rose glanced at the floor in front of her but Jack turned her to face him by placing one finger on her chin. ''But you will have me, I will never see that happen to us.''

''The pros outweigh the cons right?''

Jack nodded. ''By a million.''

Rose pushed her nose into his chest; she closed her eyes capturing the serenity of the moment. ''Where would we go, Jack if we ran away right now?''

''Wherever we wanted to go. I would do portraits here and there, make us some money. You could become a moving picture actress.''

She was quiet for a moment, alone with her thoughts. Jack watched as she wrestled with something in her mind.

''What's wrong?''

It was as though a light had switched on in her mind which had been so clouded by happiness. ''Jack, I don't want to stay in New York.''

''Then we won't.'' He kissed her forehead. ''I told you already I am happy to go wherever you want to.'' He told her. ''But what about your job, your friends…''

She paused for thought. That was a life she had led without Jack and she had become a woman but the truth was that life wasn't appealing to her anymore.

''We have to explore as we wanted to years ago.'' She turned to him. ''I was more than willing to step off that ship with you and not look back.''

The fire was just burning out as Jack and Rose reached the pub. Tony was asleep, his face on the table with his left hand supporting his head and the bottle of brandy sat empty beside him.

They tiptoed on the wooden floor. Jack motioned for Rose to follow him behind the bar. She found she was in Jack's room.

''This is where you lived?'' She glanced around. There was a small bed, covered in blankets, a single light and a few books. He packed the books in a small rucksack along with some clothes with he pulled from his wardrobe.

''It was more than enough for me.'' He smiled sadly. ''I actually liked it here when I was in town.''

Rose sensed a sad tinge. She was still cold from the rain earlier in the day and she shivered. Jack threw her a shirt.

''Here, put this on. It will be warmer than yours.''

She began to unbutton her own shirt as Jack checked for any other things which he may find useful. He then took out a piece of charcoal and a sheet of his drawing paper and began to scribble a note.

' _Tony, take care of yourself. Rose and I have decided to head on out of town and we don't know when we will be back. I will write as soon as I can. Jack.'_

He folded the paper in half and wrote _Tony_ on the reverse side.

''You'll miss him won't you?''

Jack raised his eyebrow. ''Yeah, he's like my brother.'' He glanced out to the pub to see Tony still hadn't awoken. ''My very drunk brother.''

Rose laughed. ''My turn now to say goodbye to Clara.''

Jack pulled his rucksack onto his back and took Rose's hand as she led him back through the bar. Jack left the note on the side before the headed for the door just as Aishe stepped inside.

Jack blinked a few times before realising. She was barefoot, crying and shaking.

''Aishe, what-'' He came to her and she sobbed.

''I thought you had left with the fair?''

He felt her body shake. ''My-my grandmother wouldn't allow it.''

Rose pressed her lips together, her stomach dropped sensing something was wrong. ''Why not?''

Aishe came closer and into the light. ''Jack, I am carrying a baby.''


	13. Chapter 13 - I Won't Leave

**13 - I Won't Leave**

Silence had fallen over them for only a few seconds but it felt as though it had been forever. The words were still echoing around his mind and yet they still refused to sink in. Jack watched Aishe, she shook and she sobbed. He had never seen a woman in such a state before and although he wanted to console her it was as though his feet were stuck to the spot where he was. He blinked several times and then her words finally hit him. She was having a baby. His baby.

''Aishe-I- '' he started but couldn't even think of what to say. He turned to Rose, she too had tears lining her eyes. This was supposed to have been the beginning of their new life. How split down the exact middle he was.

''How?''

''I think you know how.'' She whispered, grasping her flat stomach. ''Grandmother wants me to get rid of it.''

''That is not safe!'' Rose piped up. She glanced between Jack and Aishe. Memories which she had fought off came back to her and now the woman was having his child. ''You cannot do such a thing.'' As much as she disliked her, she could not allow that.

''When I think of this baby I cannot feel anything,'' she sobbed, ''I even tried to read my own future but there was nothing!''

Jack stepped forward. ''Is-is it my child?''

''There is no other man but you Jack.''

Rose squeezed her eyes closed, still remaining silent.

Aishe glanced between the two of them, her eyes wide. She came to Jack, touching his face. ''Jack, you are the best man I have ever met and now you have your love,'' she held out her hand to Rose, ''I hope I had some part to play in that.''

She squeezed her eyes closed. ''Jack I have to dispose of this child.''

He grasped her shoulders. ''No! This is dangerous.'' He realised his grip was too tight, he had surprised her with his action. He loosened his grip after realising he had been harsh. ''I will be there; I will support you however I can do.'' He hung his head softly.

Aishe watched his reaction. The sag of his shoulders, the longing of his gaze to Rose and yet he was still stood beside her willing her to do the right thing. ''I see no future for this.'' A tear escaped her eye.

Jack exhaled air slowly. The night had definitely taken a different turn. He lifted his hand to Aishe's shoulder. He knew this wasn't her fault and yet at this precise moment he felt repulsed by her. Yes, they had been intimate on one or two occasions but perhaps fuelled by his own mentality at the time and his drinking they had failed to take precautions. He couldn't blame her any more than he blamed himself and yet when he thought of the conception of child, who could label such a pure thing a 'mistake?'

Rose wiped her face with her back turned to them both. Her heels clacked on the wooden floor of the bar as she started to pour herself a drink. She didn't know what it was or even if the glass was clean. She knew it was strong from the smell. She recalled times she had found Clara laid on the floor, passed out from drinking too much liquor and never understood the reasoning for allowing your body to recoil into such a state and now she sympathised massively and wanted nothing more to be of that state herself; perhaps it would allow her brain to forget the events of the evening if just for a little while.

It was silent. Deathly. Only breathing could be heard. Jack watched as Rose found solstice in the glass of whisky and seconds after she began pouring herself another.

His jaw tensed as he took the glass from her hands. He wasn't going to watch her drink herself silly because of his own actions. He didn't want this to change their future. As soon as Jack was beside Rose, Aishe had gone, running from the bar. Jack dropped the glass to the floor as he chased her out. Rose gasped, she had never seen him move so fast.

Just where could Aishe run to? Especially in such a mind-set.

''Aishe?'' He called after her. The field was pitch black. He couldn't see anything as he continued to run but he didn't even know which direction she had gone. He called her again, glancing in every direction. It was completely dark and empty. He squinted his eyes expecting to see a tell-tale sign of a figure running but there was nothing.

His heart thumped, his head spun and he felt as though he could lay down and sleep for a long time. She had completely disappeared from sight. He ran his fingers through his was angry with himself, for his own actions and even more so because he knew this had hurt Rose. He found himself running back to the light of the bar.

Rose was sat with her head in her hands, he didn't know if she was crying.

Jack stood before her for a few seconds, seriously not knowing what to do or say. Before he could do anything, she slowly came to him unsure of her actions. She was unsteady on her feet and he didn't know if it was from drinking or the night's events.

She was unsure of why she was so upset, yet no tears had fallen, maybe because she was scared - of so many things.

''I'm so sorry.'' Jack whispered, feeling tears prick in his own eyes.

''It's not your fault, nor Aishe's.''

''I was stupid to do anything with her. I was-'' He had never felt so overwhelmed in his life than in that moment ''I was in love with you.''

She touched his cheek. ''Jack, I won't stop loving you because of this but we do have to rethink our options.''

He nodded slowly, he knew she was right.

''You need to be a father to that child. It has every right to that.''

He squeezed his eyes closed feeling his head throb. ''I just cannot believe she has run away like that. I don't even know where she went. It was too dark out and-''

''Shh, don't worry about it tonight. The thing is she is not in a good frame of mind at the moment. Perhaps she needs distance and to think.''

Jack frowned and touched Rose's face. Their eyes met and he smiled to her almost melting her entire body. ''Today has been wonderful.''

''The sun may not have set how we wanted it today but there are others-better ones. I promise this is just the beginning.''

He took her hand in his. ''I just never thought-''

''Jack, stop.'' She sighed. She knew that look and yet she had only known this man a mere few days even though she had longed for him all of these years. He was fearful of her leaving him again. ''I won't leave you.''


	14. Chapter 14 - Home

**I will just let you know there is a few uses of strong language in this chapter.**

14 – Home

Sleep that night didn't come easy. Rose unwrapped Jack's hand from around hers. She didn't disturb him for he was a heavy sleeper. He seemed peaceful. She sighed as she shrugged from his grip and pulled back the bedcovers. As she stood her dress fell to the floor in its full length and she felt the chill of the cool night. She trod around the floor for her shoes and stepped into Jack's slippers as she found them. The room was light enough for her to make her way in the dark into the bar area. It was warmer in there from the fire.

It was different at night, a little eerie. The wooden floor creaked beneath her feet. She wondered just how old the building was and how many owners it had seen. It was a beautiful space but she couldn't help but feel Tony neglected it from his own alcohol problem. Her mind was full as she wondered around the bar area.

She thought of her and Jack. They had come together with the same dreams. They seemed to complete each other, their minds both in the same place at the same time. Her heart filled with love when she thought of him. He had completely turned her life around in every way and for that she would be eternally grateful for the lessons which he had taught her, the memories ingrained in her mind and the way of life she now lived.

Her life before him had been very empty and she spoke it of frequently when he asked of such things. When she asked him a question or two about his life prior to his trip to Europe, he seemed to hesitate as though something had hurt him back then and then they had lost each other. That had been the hardest part. The thing which had haunted her for so long yet the part which had kept her going. She had lived in his honour.

Her eyes felt heavy, she hadn't slept enough and they began to sting. She had dreamt of Aishe but failed to remember what they were about. She could hear Tony's snores from the room opposite hers and Jack's. She went to the window and glanced out at the dark field. It was too dark to see anything out there except the wind blowing the trees. She moved away quickly, finding the notion of staring into complete darkness very uneasy. The next thing she remembered it was light and she was in Jack's bed.

She opened one eye and then the other. She must have found her way back to bed after waking up at such an early hour. Jack pulled a clean shirt on.

''Morning.''

''Good morning,'' she smiled. For some reason she felt fresher than she had the night before. All of the worry and stress seemed to have eased away. They heard a bang from the bar and glanced at the other.

''Well Tony's up before midday for the first time since he was born!''

Rose laughed as she pulled herself out of bed. She realised she had no change of clothes and her dress was rumpled from the night before.

''Perhaps he needs a drink!'' Rose teased. ''I do wish I had more clothes.''

She felt dirty having not taken a bath since the morning before and not changed her clothes but this was something she would have had to grow used to if her and Jack had lived the life they wanted when she was seventeen. She shook the thought from her mind.

''Don't worry. We will get you home to pick some stuff up.''

She smiled. They still hadn't discussed what their next steps would be but for today they had each other and the whole day to figure out what would happen next. She quickly attempted to neaten her hair before following Jack out of his bedroom door and into the bar.

Tony was sat as predicted as his usual table nursing what appeared to be whisky. A half empty bottle sat on the wooden desk in front of him. Music played from the gramophone and Jack narrowed his eyes.

''Rough night, man?''

Tony barely even registered their presence until he spoke. His body was stiff and appeared heavy.

''You-you don't know…''

Jack came closer. Tony's eyes were bloodshot, his hands shaking. This being something he had never seen Tony like in the years they had known each other.

''Tony, what's the matter?''

He shook his head and placed his head in his hands. Rose watched him, she feared he needed medical attention from how much he had drunk in such a short space of time. She clung to the side of the bar feeling how the light mood had switched once more. She felt her heart sink yet she didn't know the reason why.

''You haven't heard?''

Jack shook his head. ''No, Rose and I have been asleep until just now.''

Tony raised his head at the mention of Rose and stiffly turned his neck to acknowledge her through blurred vision. He turned back to Jack who placed his hand on top of Tony's. ''What's wrong?''

''It's-Aishe,'' he managed, he raised his head to meet Jack's eyes and it was then his body ran cold, ''she's dead.''

Jack felt his stomach sink. It was silent for more than half a minute before Rose started towards the table where they sat. Jack turned to Rose, her eyes widened from the shock of the news.

''For certain?''

Tony nodded. ''A policeman came by, he delivered the news!'' He sobbed into his own hands. ''They had found her body out by the lake.''

Tony now managed to string a sentence together.

''The lake?'' Jack stood from his chair. ''That is where she went last night!''

Rose placed her hands on Jack's face to calm him. ''You tried to find her, Jack. You didn't know where she was.'' She soothed.

Tony downed the rest of his whisky. ''The best part is that she had injected herself with some gypsy shit. They found fuckin' abortion needles with her body.''

Jack felt his body go numb as Tony continued. He shook as Rose helped him to sit back down on the chair. She had gone through with the abortion without his permission and that was her cause of death. Where would she have even got such a thing? Surely her grandmother wouldn't have allowed that.

''She must have thought she was pregnant but they took her to the hospital and there wasn't no sign of a baby having ever been inside her.''

Jack placed his head in his hands, he thought he was going to explode, he stood from the wooden chair, kicking it backwards to allow some anger to vent out.

''Jack!''

Rose came to him but he was passed any state she had seen him in.

''She died for nothing! She couldn't see her own future and this was why! She didn't have a future because she killed herself!''

Tony shook his head, his body was numb and even the liquor wasn't destroying the ache. ''She was our friend, a good friend.''

Jack came to Tony and clasped both his hands to his face. ''She was.''

He watched Rose for a moment. She was watching him with such hopelessness that she stepped away. There was nothing she could do to console him and nothing he could do for Tony. She was gone and that was something which he would hold the blame for.

Aishe's words came to Rose. _Turbulent times were coming._ How much had happened in the past week. Jack straightened his back. ''I need to get out of here.''

He started for the door but Rose tried to step in front of it but she was too late. He ran across the field just as Aishe had done the night before with such determination and driven with such a force that she believed she had to abort the child within her. The child which didn't even exist. She wanted to sob for Jack, for the loss of life of a young woman who didn't deserve such a thing. She watched as Jack ran, he was almost out of sight. He moved with a means and purpose.

What could she do? She couldn't run after him for she knew she could never catch up. The field was empty, just how she felt herself. There was so many unanswered questions. She couldn't cry for a woman she barely knew and yet who had predicted her future so clearly and couldn't see into her own. Had it been a gift or a bad omen?

The day had started out just like she had hoped under such circumstances. She had smiled this morning; Jack had smiled too. She walked back to the bar, her feet dragging one by one as her own body now felt heavy. She went inside to see Tony had fallen asleep with his head in his hands sat at the table. Quietly, she closed the door behind her and changed the sign to 'closed.' He would need to mourn her, they all would.

As for Rose, she didn't know what her future held as she took slow and hesitant steps to the only place which she knew. Home to Clara.


	15. Chapter 15 - A Good Friend

Fifteen – A good friend

The familiar hustle and bustle of the house which had been her home for six years welcomed her more than ever before. Clara was using a feather duster to clean the skirting board when she clocked sight of Rose entering through the front door.

''My God, you look as though you've aged thirty-five years.''

Rose sighed, the tears finally came and yet Clara still managed to make her smile through them with such a comment.

''Oh Clara…''

She came to her like a mother would a daughter. The familiar designer perfume which she wore every day even just to do the household chores was fully comforting. Rose wept into Clara's expensive silk top.

''Shall I fetch some cookies for this or am I going to have to just go out to find Jack and beat it out of him myself?''

Rose shook her head. ''Neither.''

She pulled away from Rose, straightening her back as she brushed her hands through Rose's knotted hair. ''Come sit on the sofa. The dusting can wait.''

She threw her feather duster to the floor as Rose sat beside her. For the next half an hour she spilled the entire contents of her body, her thoughts and feelings and of course the events which had led to her returning home alone with no idea of where Jack was.

Clara listened to her and by the end she felt thoroughly better just for talking. Her stomach ached from sobbing, her head was way above the clouds with no idea where to even go and whether Jack still wanted this life with her.

By the end of it Clara was silent, she went to the kitchen to fetch some red wine, two glasses and a packet of cigarettes; for that was the only way she thought logically. She poured two glasses almost to the brim and handed one to Rose. One couldn't care it wasn't yet noon. Within seconds a cloud of smoke surrounded them and Rose took the cigarette gratefully from Clara, a deep inhale allowed her to feel less stressed in seconds. She finally understood the perks of such a habit.

''You know I could still go out there and find him.'' Clara raised her eyebrow.

''No, I think he needs time to be alone. To grieve.''

Clara nodded. ''What about his girl though? I mean I would say you were pretty important too.''

Rose took a sip of red wine. It was sweeter than she remembered and it caused a second sip. ''We had so many plans, Clara and now I feel as though everything has fell apart. I wanted to be there for him but he wouldn't allow me near him.''

Clara placed her glass on the end table. ''Look, guys are different to us. They lash out and don't mean it. If he doesn't know how he is feeling, then I guess he doesn't know what to tell you either.''

Rose nodded.

''Does he blame himself?''

Rose bit her own lip, she didn't think of such a thing before now. ''I don't know, I hope not. She ran not him. He did everything he could, she could have gone anywhere last night and she was in such a frame of mind that she knew what the outcome would be no matter what. She didn't want the baby.''

Clara raised her eyebrows. ''But there was no baby, which Jack now knows.''

Rose was silent. She finished her cigarette which she had concentrated on smoking more than anything. The wine slipped down perfectly. Analysing the situation would do nothing.

''Bobby dropped by last night to say goodbye.''

Rose frowned. ''Whatever for?''

''He has moved to Iowa to be nearer his folks.'' Clara told her. ''Truth be told I don't think he could stomach watching you and Jack be so happy.''

Rose felt her stomach sink. Clara saw her expression.

''You knew that ending the engagement would hurt him but sometimes you have to let them go rather than staying.''

''I know. It doesn't stop the guilt.''

Rose gulped more of her wine.

''Look, I think you need to rest and to take a bath. This may seem a little easier once you have put some distance between yourself and the situation.''

The feelings in her stomach were so new and familiar but she had felt them before. They had haunted her, consumed her and killed her slowly inside for so long. Recuperation had been hard, so hard. If there was a pain for having your heart ripped out then she had felt it, multiple times. It started in the throat, the lump which never disappears no matter how much she attempted to swallow it. The bile which rose in her throat thinking of what happened and the throbbing of her head after crying for so long but nothing compares to the ache of the heart. The physical numbness, the intense stabbing and the constant ache and longing.

A bath did nothing to help her. Feelings of loneliness came biting back at her. Clara heard the cries as Rose bathed but she simply sat outside the door and listened, biting back her own tears as she nursed her wine. She could do nothing; this was something Rose had to figure out for herself. As much as she wanted to find Jack and have Steve knock a round out of him, Rose didn't want such a thing. Her own hands were tied.

Just where could he run to for so long? The hands of the clock continued to turn…six hours, eight hours…fourteen hours.

Clara switched off the bedroom light as Rose had finally cried herself to sleep in her own bed. She was quiet as her heels clattered on the wooden floor of the upstairs hallway. She was going to take a bath herself. She had drunk almost two bottles of wine to herself, her head felt funny.

This was a funny old world, one which could only deal one young woman so much pain. She sighed as she turned on the faucet to run herself a bath. She lit a cigarette and removed her heels. She could sense something strange and yet she didn't know what it was. She turned the tap off quickly. She peered out of the bathroom door and quietly creeped into Rose's bedroom. She was still sound asleep. She was relieved for she needed as much sleep as she could get. She placed her cigarette in her mouth as she stepped into her bedroom and pulled out a loaded handgun from her bedside cabinet. Steve had insisted she keep such things at close hand.

She kept the hallway light off as she crept downstairs. She didn't know what she expected to find but one thing was for sure when she got this 'hunch' feeling she was rarely wrong. The living room was dark but definitely empty and the kitchen door was locked closed the way she had left it before she went to bed.

She closed one eye as she glanced out of the window but it was dark. She disposed of her cigarette in the nearby ashtray as she quietly went to the front door and unlocked it slowly. She opened it quickly and pointed her gun outside first and then she found what she had been sensing-a man slumped on her doorstep. He almost fell back against her feet. She pointed her gun at him until she realised she knew his face.

''Don't shoot!'' He held his hands up best he could, scrambling to his feet.

Clara narrowed her eyes, her body shaking from the adrenaline. ''For God's sake, you nearly had a bullet in your head!''

She glanced him up and down and then the stench hit her. ''Have you been drinking?''

''Yes, is Rose in?''

Clara placed her hand on her hip. Jack Dawson could barely stand, he supported himself holding onto both sides of the doorframe.

''I don't know and even if she was why should I tell you? Look at the state of you!''

His face was red and she sensed he had been crying as well as drinking. She sighed as she felt herself soften. ''Please-''

''No, listen to me. Rose is in a very fragile state to start with and I understand what happened with your friend is very tragic but in those times you stand by the ones you love and seek comfort in them,'' she shook her head at Jack, ''what you don't do is leave them for seventeen hours with no words of where you are and then turn up at,'' she glanced at her watch in the dark and could just make out the small hand, ''four am expecting to see her.''

''I love her.'' He leaned against the doorframe with his whole body.

''Yes, and for whatever reason she loves you also. Which is another reason your actions are so uncalled for.''

He sank to his knees so hard she winced as she heard the crack. ''Please, let me see her. I know what I did was-'' he could barely string a sentence together, he was exhausted, emotionally drained and drunk.

''Go home, Jack.''

''I don't have a home. Rose was going to be my home.''

Clara ran her hand across her forehead. She had such a migraine she may as well have been looking after fifty screaming children which normally was her worst nightmare but in that moment she would welcome them all into her home.

''For God's sake, get up off your knees.''

He stumbled to his feet the best he could. She widened the door open for him. He stepped inside tripping over the step and banging into the door. Clara shoved him into the living room so fast he thought he had fallen until she turned on the light which dazzled him even more. His eyes struggled to adjust.

''Now you listen closely, Rose is here but she is asleep upstairs and if she is woken up by your noise I will toss you out so fast.'' He was silent. ''Number two, you will sleep here on this couch and I will fetch you some clean clothes to wear whilst you do. My couch is antique and the last thing I want is your sweat, blood or tears all over it.''

She turned to go up the stairs to fetch him some clean clothes. ''Hey, thanks.'' He called.

She was about to scold him for his loud voice but found she didn't have the energy. She scrambled around finding a pair of Steve's pants and an old shirt for him to sleep in. They were around the same size. She found Jack still standing in the same spot and swaying around, too frightened to sit on the couch.

''All right, change quickly while I go into the kitchen.''

She proceeded to the kitchen and poured a large glass of water out on the counter before finding an old cleaning bucket. She checked the larder to find they had bacon, eggs and a few slices of homemade bread left. ''Are you decent?''

''Uh-uh.''

Clara went back into the living room. He was laid on the couch, curled up like a child. She placed the glass of water on the end table. ''Drink all of that it will help with the hangover,'' she placed the sick bucket on the floor next to his head, ''if you feel the need to empty your stomach then use this. I expect to find it clean though by the time I wake up in the morning.''

''Thank you.''

''I also wake up around eight and come down for breakfast by eight thirty. I expect to find you have drunk numerous coffees to sober yourself up by then, feel free to use the kitchen for anything except beer. If anything else goes missing I still have that loaded gun.''

He nodded in agreement. He wanted to thank her again but he knew just how much he had annoyed her already. ''Good night.''

''Yes, sleep well. Clear that head of yours.''


	16. Chapter 16 - Lost Trust Regained

**I want to thank Rachel Greenwood for guidance with this story as I was completely at a loss of how to end it. So sorry if its not the best I just completely didnt have an idea of direction.**

 **There is only one more chapter left after this one.**

Chapter 16 - Lost Trust Regained

Trying to piece words together in his head was harder than he thought especially with a hangover like he had never felt before. The knot in his stomach kept growing tighter and tighter. An apology wouldn't cover it, neither would a kiss. He felt disgusted in himself and he knew Clara wasn't too fond of him either.

He had dressed and made two cups of coffee for himself before the day had even begun. He hadn't slept and he knew he couldn't until he had seen Rose. It was around an hour after he had awoken when he heard footsteps and the sound of something been dragged downstairs. He prepared himself for Clara's shrill voice to come to him but there was nothing except a shuffle in the hallway. He wanted to wait but he couldn't so he went to the door which joined the living room and the hallway to find a single black leather suitcase sitting on the door mat. He glanced up to see who the owner was; Rose.

''Where are you going?''

His voice startled her and she dropped the headscarf which she had been attempting to tie beneath her chin as she spun to see him.

''What are you doing here?''

He grasped her hand pulling her into the living room but she was hesitant. ''I came last night, Clara offered me the couch.''

She could see just how dishevelled his hair was. Words were taken from her head as she struggled to even comprehend that he had been under her roof the entire time. She could see that he hadn't slept, shaved or probably bathed in a few days but that didn't matter. He didn't let go of her hand, he couldn't. Her grip was unsteady but it didn't waver and he was thankful for that.

''I didn't know where you had gone.''

He dipped his head. ''I know. I am sorry,'' He knew it wasn't enough. He couldn't even begin to explain any of what was in his head at that moment. ''Aishe was my friend, a great friend and somebody who I always thought would be around. She made my life a better place before you came back into it, she kept me alive.''

Rose blinked back tears. ''I wish I could have known her better.''

All night she had gone over this moment in her head and there had been so much she had to say to him, so much blame, so much pain and yet he was here in front of her and she could feel none of that.

''So did I but when she told me that she was pregnant I had no idea what to think. You and I were finally going to head off somewhere. It was supposed to be our time and yet on the other hand she told me she was having my child and that was something I could never have left behind.''

''I wouldn't have expected that.''

He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to comprehend what had happened since just two nights before. The only other time his mind had been so full was of thoughts of Rose the night they had first met. The night when she had nearly killed herself by jumping from the Titanic and the night that had changed both of their lives.

''I know that, Rose.''

She pressed her lips together. She knew just how hurt he was and how hard this was for him but the fact he had left without a word hurt her too.

''Where did you go yesterday?''

''To the lake. To where she died. I had to clear my own head which I know was a selfish thing to do.''

''It wasn't selfish at all. All I needed to know what that you were all right, I was frightened.''

She let go of his hand and he moved closer to her not wanting to break the small contact they had. ''I know.'' He spoke quietly.

Tears lined her eyes and she glanced around the room to stop them falling but it was no use. She wiped them away as quickly as they had formed. Jack squeezed his eyes closed, he took a deep breath feeling his sinking heart. There was something in there telling him that everything would be all right and yet there was something else niggling away which didn't feel normal. He opened his eyes and they landed on the suitcase in the hallway.

''Were you going somewhere?''

Rose followed his gaze to the suitcase and slowly nodded. ''Yes.''

He felt his stomach pull. ''Where?''

She bit her lip as she held back her own emotion. ''I wasn't too sure. Someplace warm with a beach I had hoped for.''

''Alone?''

''Yes. I hadn't even told Clara anything. I had left her a note.'' She felt guilty but she knew that after everything she couldn't stay in New York, she couldn't chase Jack not knowing where he was and she had to ensure her own mind was sound.

''I would come with you.''

He came towards her slightly, but she backed away her eyes not leaving the floor.

''Rose?''

He wanted to take her in his arms, but he knew she wouldn't allow him to, something was wrong. There was some barrier there and he needed to know what was causing it.

Staring Jack straight in the eyes, Rose silently composed herself. She could already sense he was hurting in one way or another, the silent between them was unbearable.

''I have never trusted a man like I have trusted you Jack Dawson. You showed me what life was all about all of those years ago and I lived on through your memory wanting you to be proud of me. When I saw you again I thought I had done something wrong to deserve the pain I felt but then I realised something; it wasn't to cause me pain, somehow God believed we deserved a second chance with each other,'' her voice cracked, ''but after yesterday I thought all that was worthless.''

The lump in her throat finally caught up with her and she tried to swallow it but as much as she tried she couldn't. Her stomach ached from sobbing and her makeup was no undoubtedly ruined.

Stepping back slightly from Rose, he felt his heart pound more than it had ever done before. Words failed Jack completely. The truth could not sink into his mind. He knew that he was the cause of all of this. He heard footsteps upstairs and his stomach sank, they wouldn't be alone for much longer. He grasped Rose's left hand and pressed it to his heart. ''Listen to me, I love you, I always have and I always will. I cannot live knowing that you are out there without me. You said yourself we were given another chance and we have to take that chance.''

He urged, his eyes praying to her in a silent plea to just allow him inside once more. ''Nothing about you is worthless. I have no doubt I had caused insecurity but I want to spend every day with you for the rest of my life building that trust back up and not because I deserve it but because I probably don't,'' he paused, he felt himself well up, ''the thing is I want a life with you, I want us to be happy, for once. We both deserve that much.''

Jack instantly came to Rose and pulled her towards him in a warm embrace. "I'm so sorry," he whispered over and over again. Jack pressed his lips to Rose's just once before pulling her into an embrace she had never felt before. They clung to each other for fear of losing the other.

"But everything is so messed up, Jack.''

"We'll find a way, Rose. It will work out. Whatever is meant to be will find a way, and this isn't any different. It's fate, Rose. Fate brought us to where we are now." Jack really believed that. Life would be different from this day on. There would be no more running, no more being scared. All they had was their love for each other.

''Do you forgive me?''

She nodded in his arms and he kissed her hair. He struggled to breathe, his love for her was overwhelming.

"I just…I'm so scared I'm going to lose you again, Jack." Rose's vision was blurred by her tears and she clung to Jack as though her life depended on it.

"You're never going to lose me, Rose. That I promise you." Feeling content for the first time, Rose pulled away from Jack, feeling her heart beating so fast she felt dizzy.

Rose pulled her body away from Jack, but still was close enough to see into his eyes.

"I know how much we love each other, and that things are still a mess right now. We have to work so much to make a life for us.''

"That's what I want, too, Jack.''

He wiped her tears, the smudged flecks of make up and ran his fingers up to her hair, brushing through it slowly.

''Are you sure?''

''Yes.''

''Then come with me now. We can go wherever you want to go.''

Her stomach soared, she didn't even attempt to wipe away the tears that kept coming except this time they weren't for fear, they were of happiness.


	17. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

Clara painted another layer of cherry red lipstick on her lips as she pouted into the mirror.

''Clara, post is here!''

Annette, one of the backstage workers shouted as she threw a stack of envelopes onto a chest of drawers just inside her room.

Clara stood from her seat and expertly walked to the drawers in her high heels. She was in character, the main star of the theatre. It was all thanks to Rose. Even though she missed her best friend, she had to admit her career had soared because of it. Over the last seven months she had been on magazine covers and had even taken a small part in a film. Hollywood wasn't calling yet…but it would…

She fingered through the mail, most of it was written by fans and she stashed it away to read later. A postcard caught her attention and she turned it over to see the familiar handwriting of Rose.

She smiled, sitting back at her vanity unit and taking a cigarette from the case which sat at her desk. She lit a match and began to smoke. She inhaled deeply, she had been awaiting word from Rose for some time.

 _My dearest Clara,_

 _I am so happy to hear you are now the star of the show! I knew you would make it someday! I am sorry I couldn't be there to see it for myself but rest assured as soon as you're the star of your own movie I will be at the theatre watching it at the front row._

 _As for me I have started teaching language at a small school here in England. We kept wondering around the country until we settled just outside of London in Suffolk. It is such a small cosy village with not many people but I find having a home is actually what I wanted after all. Jack has been doing odd jobs and then he recently starting volunteering at the school teaching art. There is talk of pay soon which will be very handy as running the house on one salary is hard. He sends his love._

 _I also became Mrs. Dawson just last month. We finally got married! Although it feels no different to be referred to as 'Mrs' is rather grown up._

 _I do hope you can visit sometime. I enjoyed the ship journey over here, something I never thought I would say. Perhaps one Christmas you and Steve could come see us. The snow is wonderful very much like New York._

 _I must say goodbye. Find the time to write back soon. I very much look forward to your letters._

 _All my love,_

 _Rose._

Clara placed the postcard beside her perfume bottle. She finished her cigarette and stamped it out in the ashtray.

''Clara, you're on in three. Remember tonight is the night Mr. Bigshot movie director is here!''

Nerves bubbled in the pit of her stomach. Tonight was her night. She could feel it. One last glance in the mirror assured her she had never looked better and beneath the nervous exterior, she knew she was a great actress who was deserving of good things.

 **I want to thank every body who has read, reviewed, followed and Fav'd this story. I hope you have enjoyed it.**

 **Inspiration for the song was 'Water and a Flame' performed by Celine Dion. It's a great song originally written by Adele I believe.**


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